One Little Piece Of Crazy


I have no idea how I lucked out to have three incredible kids. Especially when they are sick. Because if the curse that my mother put on me as a child had worked, I would have had kids that were exactly like me. But I don’t. And I am grateful. When I was a kid and I got sick I really believed the world was ending. And throwing up was the worst. I was pretty sure vomiting = death. No idea why I thought this, but the terror involved with puking far outweighed the actual unpleasantness of the act itself.

If I was feeling sick to my stomach (which was pretty often as a child) I would have to have everything a certain way so that I didn’t puke. Shoot, I couldn’t even say “puke” or”throw up” of”vomit” I called it getting “uppity”. Wow, what a wacko little kid I was!! And then when the time came for the actual deed to happen, I had to have a hand to hold and forget about me aiming anywhere. I tossed my cookies wherever I was because I was paralized with fear. You can imagine how nice this was for my mother to deal with.

There was the time I threw up down her back, the time I puked in my dad’s ear, and the time my drunk uncle tried to catch it with a tv tray which only made it splash. The older I got, the more prepared I became. I would have a plan at all times in all situations on what I would do and who I could grab if I had to puke. I’m not really sure what other 11 year olds were thinking about, but me, at any given moment, I could tell you exactly whose hand I would hold and what I would do if I got sick. I think this is what they call neurotic. Or maybe just annoying. If someone was throwing up near me, or on TV, or even just hearing someone puke in another room would send me into a panic for hours, sometimes even days.

I did finally get over my intense fear when I started drinking. Don’t get me wrong, before an evening of drinking commenced I would straight out ask a friend to hold my hand if I had to throw up. What a weirdo I was. When I became pregnant with my first, and the morning sickness began (which was coincidently on Mother’s Day) I was finally broken of my consuming fear of vomiting. Still didn’t like hearing others throw up, but I understood that I wasn’t going to die and I actually preferred to be alone when the feeling hit.

And then there are babies. I had three, not all at once, just in general. Spit up wasn’t an issue as I breastfed all three. They did spit up now and again but it wasn’t a big deal. And with the first two I had another adult around who took care of them if they had the stomach bug. And when my kids were sick, they were sick but not one of them ever acted like it was the end of the world. This further proved to me that I was a total freak as a child. Now my greatest fear became my kids becoming weirdo freaks like I was. I mean, it was really difficult being such a weirdo freak as a child. Always thinking about throwing up. Being consumed with vomit.

My kids really amaze me. Their little lives are definitely as screwed up as mine was, just in different ways. But somehow they do not have any of the insecurities or strange hang ups that I had. Not quite sure why except that I just refused to allow them to have those hang ups.

Case in point. Last night my almost 7-year-old woke me up by just standing in my doorway. I looked at her and asked if she was ok. She said “yes, but I just threw up.” I asked her where, all the while processing that she was not screaming or crying or in any way visibly upset. She said in her room. So, I get up and take her in the bathroom and check her out, she’s clean. Not a tear, nothing. No puke on her.I ask if she wants to brush her teeth and she does. I bring her into my bed and tell her if she feels pukey again to wake me up and we will run for the potty. She is good with that. Me at her age? I would have had a nervous break down if my mother had even mentioned to run for the potty. That would have meant that she thought there was a possibility that I would throw up again! Not my kid,she says “ok mommy” rolls over and goes to sleep.

About an hour later I feel her moving pretty quickly out of bed. I jump up with her and she actually made it to the potty and threw up while holding her own hair back. My children never cease to amaze me. I am so very proud that they do not have the vomit obsession that I had. I have no idea how it happened I am just glad it did happen. There is no way I could have dealt with mini me. Now if I catch this bug, that may be a different story….


About sparklingbytheway

I am a single mother to three girls. I live in a very small village and I teach dance in another very small village that is on the oppisite side of the medium sized city. This blog is about my life, past, present and future. My opinions, my thoughts, my ideas. I love to read other people's experience, strength and hope and so now I will share a little bit of my own. I love to laugh and make others laugh. I swear and I can't spell for shit but I never intend to offend!!!

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