I am going to make this general and only about one aspect of domestic abuse. I woke up this morning to the news that Hiram Monserrate was being ousted from his New York State senate seat because of his misdemeanor domestic violence conviction. That is good and right. That he is fighting his ousting is just plain sick. He was fired with a vote of 53 to 8. And only God knows how corrupt those 8 senators are to actually vote to keep a violently abusive man in a public service position. If I were a voter in their district I would make it my job to make sure that those 8 are never re-elected to any public service position. But that’s just me and this issue is one that is close to my heart, obviously.
In this case, Monserrate attacked his girlfriend and cut her in the face with a broken piece of glass and then dragged her down the hall of his apartment complex to bring her to the hospital. He said he accidently tripped when bringing her a glass of water and it shattered and cut her face. Seriously. Classic. “She ran into my fist”. It is still a mystery to me how these men are believed. Now, the senate has voted him out because they feel his actions do not line up with the values supposedly promoted by the NYS senate. Makes sense to me. How could any man who attacks a woman be allowed to keep his job, in general, but most especially a man who is in public service and holding an elected position. That means that he has been elected by the voters who made their decision on many factors including what kind of person he was. Does he molest children, does he kick puppies, does he cheat on his taxes, does he beat women? Apparently yes, he does beat women.
His defense of his actions is to try to deflect criticism by distraction. He wants us to look at the fact that he should not be fired by his colleuges, he should be fired by his constituents. He wants us to believe that his being fired really is about his race and his past actions in the senate. Flip flopping from a democrat to a republican back to a democrat when he saw he would be on the losing side if he didn’t flip back to his original stance. He stated “God is not done with me yet” Well let’s hope not.
He is textbook abuser. When caught in the act, he lies, he takes no responsibility, tries to blame anyone he can and then gets defensive. The sense of entitlement he is displaying is right on target with the classic narcissistic abuser personality. He just does not believe that he should be subject to the laws of man, NYS, or even morality. It looks like he seriously believes that he should get away with what he did. It is mind boggling to even try to reason out his logic. No remorse, no apologies.
There is so much that is wrong with this case and the way it was handled in the court system. But at least it is a start. It is a new story that is getting the word out about domestic violence. It is making people talk. It is making people angry. And it’s about time. If every case of domestic violence that the court saw ended in the perpetrator being fired from his job and given some sort of punishment maybe there would be a drop in DV cases. Why not try it? I mean, if you steal a car it is automatically a felony and there is jail time served. And that’s a car. Sure, I would be pissed if someone stole my car. But if someone hit my daughter I would be far more than pissed. These laws have to change. Now that we know better we should do better. Criminals who commit victimless crimes are thrown behind bars without much thought. Abusers walk around free to abuse and many times kill their victims and we as a society say “Well, that’s a shame. At least they didn’t steal my car.” And look away.
No more looking away.