I was about 7 months pregnant with my second child. And I wasn’t one of those cute pregnant ladies. I was swollen and fat and miserable and I threw up from conception. I was sweaty and mean and I probably smelled bad but I didn’t care much for the comfort of others at that point. I heard on TV that Sears was the owner of the new store Home Goods that had opened at the mall. I was very excited because that meant that I could use my Sears card at Home Goods!!! So, I went shopping!!
Cause shopping made me feel better. I pulled on my elastic waist pants with my potato sack shirt and slipped on my loafers, cause I could no longer reach my feet to put on regular shoes. I stuffed myself behind the wheel of my Subaru 5 speed and drove myself to the mall. I shopped at Home Goods until my kankles were about to explode and then I pushed my cart up to the front to check out.
The nice, young girl rung me up to the tune of 175 dollars. But what did I care? Cause it was going on the Sears credit card which was like free, magic money. And I handed her my Sears credit card. She looked at me kind of funny and said “Um, this is a Sears card” I said “Yes, it is.” and she said “This is Home Goods.” I said “Yes, it is” Jeeze, this chick was really new….didn’t she know that Home Goods accepted Sears cards? She said “This is the Home Goods store, not Sears.” the whole time trying to give me back my card, which I would not take back. You see where this is going don’t you?
So, there I am, pregnant, sweating, sick, swollen and bitchy as all get out, and this little wisp of a thing is trying to tell ME that they don’t accept the Sears card because they are not Sears. HA! Now, a normal person would have probably just accepted that they were not IN Sears and therefore the Sears card would not be accepted. Not me, I was not normal on a good day, and on a pregnant day… I accept nothing!!! I told her that they accepted the Sears card. She told me that they didn’t. I told her that she was mistaken, they did. She replied that they didn’t. She asked the cashier next to her. That cashier said “This isn’t Sears, why would we accept the Sears card as payment?” To which I smugly replied that Sears owned Home Goods and therefore, the Sears card was obviously accepted. The two cashiers exchanged looks.
My cashier then ran the card through the machine and it came up card unverified. Again, a normal person might then admit defeat and pay with another card….like a J.C.Penny or a Chappel’s card….Not me!! I say “I would like to speak to your manager please.” The poor girl was dumbfounded and didn’t know what to say to me. So, she called her manager. The manager came over and I calmly explained that my Sears card should work because Sears actually owns the place. The manager knew she was dealing with a pregnant woman about to pop so she very slowly, explained to me that they do not accept credit cards from other stores as payment. Only universal credit cards or checks or cash. I stared at her as if she had lost her mind and she stared back with the exact same look on her face.
I finally said “Fine. Then I will take my business elsewhere.” and I made my dramatic exit, which immediately became less dramatic as I walked to the front of the store. It was past closing time and I had to wait at the front for the girl to come and raise the gate as I could not bend over enough to get underneath it. I got home and told my family about my horrible treatment at Home Goods and made them all promise to boycott the store (and possibly even picket in front of it).
It was probably six months later when I realized what a nut job I was. I don’t know if I truly heard that Sears owned Home Goods or if I dreamt it in my pregnant brain. Either way, I was so sure of myself and so very, very wrong. I can still see the look on the manager’s face. How many times have I decided to get behind a really bad idea? Countless. I pick the wrong lines at the grocery store consistently, I hear something (or overhear something) and take it in as fact and spit it out as fact and I pay the consequences when I am proven wrong. Good thing I am used to being wrong.
Whatever, looking back, it was funny. And eventually the Home Good store closed at the mall. Karma? Maybe. Or if they had accepted my Sears card they just may have survived on my 200 dollar limit alone….but now they will never know….(insert google eyed crazy face here).