Some things seem so random to me.
I have successfully left alot of unhealthy behaviors in my past and moved on. It has not been easy but I work hard on becoming the woman I want to be. The mother I want to be. So, when I am attacked from behind, I have to stop and wonder if the attacker truly spends their days and nights thinking about me. I guess that’s what stalkers do.
I told you about my first stalker. Now, my second stalker is different. She is not a pedophile, I don’t think… and she is not stalking me for me. She is obsessed with me and my family. I guess I should be flattered, but really I find it disconcerting and very insane not to mention annoying. I suppose it is naive of me to believe that just because I have grown and changed that other people have also. That’s not how it works. Otherwise, I would have surrounded myself with healthy people and then instantly been transformed into a healthy person myself without any hard work.
Now, my current stalker utilizes all the modern technologies. She has hacked my email and followed me to message boards. She has called a few times but for the most part has taken a shine to the Facebook. It’s one thing to stalk me, but stalking my kids is just ridiculous. I suppose that stalkers in general are so filled with a sense of self-importance that they truly believe that the people they turn their attentions to will feel gratitude. They do not understand that their attentions are unwanted and unappreciated. Who can really understand the mind of a stalker?
But it occurs to me, to be a stalker, one would have to spend alot of time thinking and planning a way to get to the prey. In other words, a stalker would have to spend time in the shit. The dirty, smelly, sticky, shit. Because if one is planning to hurl shit, one has to touch shit. One has to become very familiar with the properties of shit so as to be able to throw it and hit their mark. That doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun. Nor does it say alot about the type of person a stalker is. Because we all know that if you play with shit, you get shitty.
Sure, I got hit with the shit, but she had to “become one” with the shit to be able to sling it. Me? I can wipe it off and keep on keeping on. Her? Well, I am not sure if you can ever get rid of that kind of shit. Then again, everyone has the ability to change, if they really want to and seek out new ways of living. I have.
Anyway, I do have gratitude for the fact that having a stalker again has given me a chance to look at myself and my ways of being an adult. I found myself lacking and so I changed some behaviors. Having my stalker also intimidate and harass my children has made us communicate about issues that I have tried to keep from them. Like stalkers and unhealthy behaviors and what to do when hit with flying shit. So, it has been a mixed blessing and a learning experience. No one is perfect, we all just do the best that we can in this life. If I make a mistake, I have the ability to apologise and make amends and move on. No longer stuck in the shit. In the grande scheme of things, it’s all a shiny turd shower that will eventually pass and the grass will be greener for the fertilizer.