I stopped gathering my mail from the mail box a few months ago. Right after Christmas…because…why bother? It’s not going to be good news. It’s only going to be junk or bills. And that’s not fun. In my effort to keep my PMA I decided that the mail and the phone will be avoided at all costs…except when I am expecting a check or when my best friend calls. That’s it. Everything else is crap.
But, I know sometimes criminals will watch a mail box and if the mail isn’t collected daily they will break in and steal stuff, thinking the people are on vacation. Now, seeings how I am not on vacation, but am sitting quietly inside my house I certainly do NOT want any criminlas breaking in and catching me in my pj’s with my hair not done. That would be embarrassing for them and for me. Therefore, I collect my mail every few days…ya know, to keep the criminals away.
So, friday I grabbed a wad of mail out of the box and brought it in and threw it on the chair and ignored it. Well, I didn’t really ignore it. I gave it the finger every time I walked by it. Until yesterday, when with resentment and curse words and lots and lots of anger, I went thru the mail. It was mostly junk, a few bills and of course the “hey Dumbass Pay Your Student Loans” letters. Oh but there was ONE from the city court saying “OPEN ME RIGHT NOW OR BE VERY VERY SORRY” Damn it. I hate when they say that right on the outside of the envelope. So, I reluctantly opened it.
Inside was a letter saying that in 1993, I was given a ticket for not properly attaching my registration or maybe inspection sticker to the windshield of my car as required by NYS law. Wait…what???? 1993???? I don’t remember 1993. At all. Or 1992 for that matter. Regardless, they will be suspending my driver’s licence as of May 18th if I don’t resolve this issue…wow.
In august of 1993 I was 19 years old. I had a Chevy Citation that I can’t be sure even had a windshield to affix anything to. But 20 years later, after college, homes bought and sold, 3 kids, a divorce and many many new cars (with working windshields) I am going to be put through the hassle of having my licence revoked? Because of 1993????
THIS IS WHY I DON’T COLLECT MY MAIL!!!
I call the city court and lo and behold, this particular ticket had been dismissed in 1994. GREAT! But, this is me we are talking about so…..there is a similar ticket from 2006 that is actually the one that will suspend my licence. What???? 2006????? Ya know what happened in 2006? You don’t want to know what happened in 2006. It wasn’t a good year. I remember it well.
Ok, now I have to go to the city court, get the ticket, go to traffic court and see if the judge will dismiss it. Or fine me, whatever but I can’t have my licence suspended. I am the ONLY driver and my kids have STUFF to do. And I drive 60 miles a day round trip for work. I wish I could hire a chauffeur but alas, I am a single mother so no help for me ( come on…just a little sympathy…no? Fine)
I go to the city, find a parking spot with the old fashion parking meter that takes change, put in 2 hours worth of quarters because it would be so ironic to get a parking ticket while in traffic court, and go directly into the wrong courthouse. After going thru the metal detector and being patted down because I kept beeping (maybe there is a metal plate in my head and THAT is why I can’t remember 1993…it’s possible) I march right into the wrong room. They tell me I have to go to the other court house around the block. Great. I go get in my car not thinking that I am literally one block away from the other courthouse, drive all over the city to find another parking spot literally a quarter block from my first parking spot. It is so hard to be me sometimes.
I hop out, put in another 2 hours worth of quarters in the meter and march to the other courthouse. I find the right place. The lady behind the counter listens to my story, pulls up the paperwork and tells me to go to the courtroom. She looked very sympathetic to my plight which I appreciated. Off I go to see the judge. I check in with the officer and take my seat in the pew. No really, they are pews, not seats. Being in a pew, I said a prayer “Please God, don’t let me be arrested” For what? I have no idea but I am not kidding when I say I have no recollection of 1993…
Here comes the judge. We stand, she sits, we sit and I wait for the organ music to start. But just because we are sitting in pews does not mean we get to sing hymns. I learn something new every day! Then this super duper cute guy in a suit and tie calls my name. This experience just got alot better!! But wait! Maybe it’s a trap!!!! What the hell did I do in 1993????? He takes me into another room and sits me down. This kid is maybe all of 22. But golly he sure is cute! He says that the most he can do is knock the ticket down to a parking violation and I will just pay a small fine and be done with it. I blinked and wiped my drool (I am not kidding this guy was HAWT) and said ok! And he sent me back out to wait for the judge to call my name.
In line before me were incarcerated people and people who had lawyers with them. That was interesting. To watch the judge and how she was very stern and realistic with these people who had been arrested for lots of things. The dynamic between the lawyers and the judge was also interesting to watch. And then the guard called my name. And part of me wanted to run up to the bench and cry and beg for mercy. Part of me wanted to be totally indignant of the charges against me and start screaming about My Rights and the injustice of being an American Citizen and having to deal with The System. Instead, I just walked forward and smiled. The judge looked at the paper from the cute guy and said “really?” She looked at the guard standing next to me with disbelief. I started to sweat. Oh my God I am going to jail…1993 caught up to me. The guard sort of smirked. The judge said “I don’t even believe what a waste of time this is” and she crumpled the paper and said ” You are free to go. Go forth and sin no more my sister and procreate as the Lord has commanded” Well, actually she just said “This is dismissed” and the guard said “you’re done you can go” And I turned around and left. With such an incredible guilt because all those other people sitting in the pews were going to hate me.
Screw you 1993!!!!!! I’m free to do what I want any old time!!!!! As long as it is within the bounds of the motor vehicle laws of the great state of New York. Justice is sweet my friends….