Dear Diary, Day What Not To Wear

This was a few years ago. Because nothing says birth of Christ like matching footies and jazz hands

This was a few years ago. Because nothing says birth of Christ like matching footies and jazz hands

This has been a week from hell. In fact, it has been so completely wrong I am writing a novel about it because if I tried to write it out here, on this blog, no one would believe me. Because things like this just don’t happen to “people like me”. Which is really very funny. And not at all true. If you are one of those people who reads my stuff and thinks “Oh how droll…well, THAT would NEVER happen to ME!!!” Rest assured that it will happen to you. Maybe it hasn’t, maybe it isn’t, but it most definitely will. There but for the grace of God go you.

Anyway, that’s enough of the curses and voodoo dolls for now. You have been warned.

So, what does one wear when confronting truths they would rather not confront? To deep for you? A little too vague? It’s ok. One wears black stretch pants (the kids yell at me when I call them stretch pants. I guess they are now called leggins?) , puddle jumpers that are two sizes too big (so they make a *clurump clurump* noise when I walk) , a long sleeve teeshirt that sticks out the bottom of a sweatshirt with the neck cut out (a la Flashdance), a scarf and a long, sliver winter coat with sliver fake fur around the hood (circa 2004). OH! And ofcourse unbrushed hair thrown into a high messy bun. Unbrushed for 3 days. This is the uniform for dealing with unexpected life crisis-es.

Let me interrupt here and address a comment I received from a friend. It was bothering him that I misspell  the word :alot…alot. I actually do it intentionally because of my emotional immaturity which i explained to him (let’s all heave a collective sigh of sadness for me and my issues……………..thank you) But it’s more than that. I really believe that saying  “a lot” doesn’t get across my point as well as saying “alot” When I am speaking I do not say “I have a lot of really bad habits” I say “I have ALOT of really bad habits” Sometimes I say outloud “I have AAAAAAAAALOT of really bad habits.” To be clear, I don’t have alot or even a lot of really bad habits. I don’t believe in bad habits so it’s hard to have them. Also, ofcourse should be one word and teeshirt. So, there ya go. A lot is where boys from 1940 play stickball and alot is when there is shit going on and you are overwhelmed because it is ALOT of shit.

Tuesday happened and I wore a slightly better mom costume. I was wearing my skinny jeans. NOT because I am skinny. I am not. I am actually at my heaviest but I only know that because I went to the dr for my neck/shoulder/nerve pain and they weighed me. Bet you forgot about my outrageous pain didn’t you. *sigh* I wish you cared about me more….Where was I? Oh yes, skinny jeans because they go into my zip up knee high boots without causing me to look like I have kankles. I also had on a waist length sweater that is sort of the color of depression…it makes my eyes look soooo pretty. And the damn silver coat again.

Wednesday I stayed in my PJs all day until work so that doesn’t count. Thursday I showered and got dressed in sweats and a men’s florescent orange thermal long sleeve shirt with a men’s 2x sweatshirt over it and my keds. Because fuck you winter. I was in my car , driving (not just sitting in my car….THAT would be weird) from 8am until about 2:30. I came home and had  just enough time to get glitter in my eye and up my nose and change into my work clothes.

That brings us to today. The ensem for today is the same as Wednesday minus the shower and plus copious amounts of dog hair.

I did call the neck/shoulder/nerve Dr but they won’t see me until February and they called me a drug addict because I told them the pills the my regualr dr prescribe are doing nothing so I stopped taking them,,,,yeah makes sense to me too… so who knows if I will even keep the appointment. I also got my taxes done! Taxes make me feel like the rest of you. Taxes and death right peeps?

I whistle the intro music to my soap opera every day and I do it really really well.

I get very annoyed when it is sunny in the wintertime.

Anyone want to buy this picture? It's real purty and perf for over your couch...ooooooo you know you want it.

Anyone want to buy this picture? It’s real purty and perf for over your couch…ooooooo you know you want it.

About sparklingbytheway

I am a single mother to three girls. I live in a very small village and I teach dance in another very small village that is on the oppisite side of the medium sized city. This blog is about my life, past, present and future. My opinions, my thoughts, my ideas. I love to read other people's experience, strength and hope and so now I will share a little bit of my own. I love to laugh and make others laugh. I swear and I can't spell for shit but I never intend to offend!!!

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