Dear Diary, My Kid Is Perfect (like I had any doubt)

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Can't see the dog poop from here mom!!

Can’t see the dog poop from here mom!!

Today I woke up at 5:30am. Why? Because I was worried about next weekend when I have to wake up at 3am to take a bus to NYC and how sick I get when I have to wake up that early but how I can’t just stay up because that also makes me very sick. And what am I going to wear to New York and where am I going to sit on the bus and how much it sucks to get home at 1am and have to get into a cold car and drive the 45 minutes home and which bags I need to bring and what the kids are going to wear and by then, I was back to today and it was 6am. By skipping my early morning pee and Tylenol I was already starting to have a headache. So, I got out of bed, peed, took my Tylenol and pretended to meditate. I could tell it was going to be a super terrific wonderful awesome fabulous hell yeah really good day!

I finally decided to stop faking it, got out of bed at 6:30 and took a shower. But first, I dropped the toothpaste in the sink that is clogged so, basically I dropped the toothpaste into a pit of germs and spit. Before I used it. Then, I hopped in the shower and one of the kids had changed the radio station so it was on some top 40 crap. A really good song came on and I got goose bumps but I had to shave, which I did even though I know better and now I have the worst razor burn. Maybe the razor burn would have been tolerable if I was just putting back on my sweats, but, I had to get dressed in my mom costume because the 11 year old had a doctor’s appointment and a parent teacher conference. Super Terrific!

I woke the kids up. The 11 year old took a shower because she had her 11 year old check up today. The 15 year old took out the dog and fed him and started the car. I had to dry the 11 year old’s hair because it is negative 34 with the windchill in MARCH. Then, I came down stairs, tripped over the dog leash, realized that all of our winter coats are in the car so we are all going to catch pneumonia and then half fell down the icy stairs, banged my knee getting into the car and my phone won’t charge anymore. Wonderful Awesome!

Took the kid to her Dr appointment. She is perfect. Like, I totally knew that, but, I am glad the Dr and nurses got to see a perfect child…I’m happy for them. I am sure it made their day. Then, we went to school. I dropped her to her 3rd period art class and went to meet with her teachers. I was totally cool with this parent teacher conference. When my oldest was in kindergarten, her teacher explained to us that if a kid was having issues, they were the ones who got the beginning of the year conferences. Kids who were doing great got the end of the year conferences. Being that this is the end of March, I knew I was in the clear. And sure enough, her teachers were all “she’s perfect!” I was sort of feeling like maybe I should call a press conference to make sure the whole community knows my kid is perfect. Mostly because being the mother of 3 kids, 2 of whom have entered full blown teenagerhood, I know that perfect children do not last.  Hell Yeah!

My dog’s feet smell.

I got schooled today in bird sex. It’s gross.

This is what people in my house do to avoid going downstairs to the kitchen. And by people, I mean me.

This is what people in my house do to avoid going downstairs to the kitchen. And by people, I mean me.

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About sparklingbytheway

I am a single mother to three girls. I live in a very small village and I teach dance in another very small village that is on the oppisite side of the medium sized city. This blog is about my life, past, present and future. My opinions, my thoughts, my ideas. I love to read other people's experience, strength and hope and so now I will share a little bit of my own. I love to laugh and make others laugh. I swear and I can't spell for shit but I never intend to offend!!!

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