So, we didn’t get back to the hotel until well after 2:30am and that is past my bedtime, by like, alot. I did shower before I got into bed though and here is why : NYC is grosser than gross. Or maybe I am grosser than gross when I am in NYC…that is a possibility. I walk fast and sweat. I do not understand these people who are wearing scarves and long sleeves in the summer, in the city, in the summer, in the city (It’s a song ya know?). Plus, I had three pairs of shoes in my purse, all had been worn at some point during the day. Add to that a bra wet with sweat and smelly socks. It’s a long story, but trust me when I say that there was no avoiding touching the bottom of shoes that had been worn all over Manhattan.
Here is how our day went : We got up, found a bagel shop and a Starbucks and the train station. Now, we parked in this very, very , very old parking lot that happened to be about 5 blocks from the actual station. To park in this lot you had to fold up 15 dollars very small and shove them through a slot on a board. Yes you did! We stood there for a bit with another couple debating the pros and cons of how we thought the contraption worked. Finally, a criminal came over and informed us that yes indeed the situation was what it looked to be. So, the other couple stuffed their money in, we stuffed ours in and then we walked. I have no idea why the hell we had to park 5 blocks away from the station. Down a long, dark alley, under an overpass with broken glass scattered all over the sidewalk and then along a fence with razor wire at the top…it’s VACATION!!!!!!!!!
Got to the station and hopped right on the train! Sat down and immediately realized I was having a gallbladder attack! So, that was 2 hours of making a plan on what to do if I needed help and googling gallbladder attack remedies. Got off the train, went to a couple of flea markets, then to the movies. The kids were dying to see some cheezebag movie that had just come out and I knew the bathrooms at the movie place would be nice enough to change into our evening clothes. Met a lovely older lady and had a great discussion about the movie. Charged my phone, changed our clothes, took my 15 year old to the Broadway show she had tickets for. Her friend met her there. My 11 year old and I hopped back on the subway, and went to Ninja Restaurant. That was SO. MUCH. FUN!!!! Jumped on the subway, met my 15 year old and her friend at the stage door and got autographs and pics with the stars of the show!
Parted ways with her friend, jumped on S to get to Grand Central to catch the train back to New Haven. That sounds like an easy thing but if you read this you will understand that nothing is easy. We were exhausted. And I had to pee. So, the train leaves the platform and I head to the bathroom. I check before I squat that there is tp. There is NO tp. I pull myself together and go back to our seat. I rummage through my purse (touching dirty shoes and sweaty bras) looking for a tissue or napkin. Nada. How is it possible that I have been a mom for 20 years and I don’t have a crumpled up tissue in the bottom of my purse? Oh that’s right…I skipped my Mommy Club dues to be able to afford this frickin trip. My only option? A smelly sock. I decided to check the bathroom two cars down. Same sitch. But, I noticed this pull down table thingy next to the toilet and just in case it was a secret tp stash, I pulled it down…It wasn’t. It was a place to put potato chip bags filled with vomit. And as I closed it back up, I got a strong whiff of someone’s vomit along with a splash that landed on my thumb. Now, I have to pee, no toilet paper, stranger puke on my thumb and all I have is a sock. That about sums up my life. Listen, I did what I had to do. You have no idea what it’s like living on the edge…Let’s all just be impressed with my resourcefulness and leave it at that, OK?
We hopped off the train, hopped in a cab (because there is NO WAY I was going to spend money on a better motel in a better area and then get killed on the way to my car. THAT would be such a waste!!!!) jumped in our car, locked the doors and drove back to the motel. Stumbled into our room, the kids fell on the bed and were out before I could say goodnight. I immediately showered HOT to rid myself of the memory of chip bag vomit and socks…
Crawled into bed and was out.
It was a wonderful day. We met alot of people. Most of them were asking me for directions. Which I gave out like I knew what I was talking about. Because people are just looking to have an adventure, they don’t really want to know how to get there! Today we got up, found our bagel and Starbucks and hit the road for home. But on the way home is the Basketball Hall Of Fame. So, we had to stop…took the tour, played the games, had a blast! They have a Cold Stone Creamery and so, we had a treat. THEN we were on our way home. Over all it was an epic vacation, but every vacation we take is epic in some way.
And now I know what happens to the “missing” sock….