Tag Archives: cake

Dear Diary, Good Mom Day

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When I was 17...seriously looks like a scene from a John Huges film

When I was 17…seriously looks like a scene from a John Huges film

Let’s see, today I got up, dropped the kids to school, went for my re-check mammogram. All’s well with the boobage. Then I went shopping for my 10-almost-11 year old’s birthday tomorrow. Of course this sent me into a total flashback of the day she was born, how my water broke (that didn’t happen with the first two), how cold it was (coldest February on record…at least by my record), how ready I felt (because I had done this twice before and I sort of knew what to expect)…

But then, I was distracted by the director of the NIH on The Diane Rehm Show who was singing a song about how we all need to get together and fight disease. Yep. A whole song. And he played guitar too. And at the end of the song, Diane gave a real loud “WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” At which point I cracked up and turned to my left to see the guy next to me also cracking up! He rolled down his window so I rolled down mine and he said “Did you just hear that?!?” And I said “YES!! The best was Diane’s reaction!!!” And he said “WOOOOOOO!!!!” And we laughed, rolled up our windows, and went on our way.

I shopped and came home, took the dog out for a pee and then he and I wrapped all of the presents. I went to get the kids from school, and took them to my dad’s fav restaurant for dinner. I have become addicted to the Pan-seared & oven roasted Beef Tenderloin topped with a gorgonzola-bacon compound butter & port wine reduction. I could eat it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I could put it in a blender and drink it. It is so good. One of my former students works there and was our server. She was also our babysitter for a few years so it was awesome to see her.  Then we came home and the birthday girl opened all of her presents because I will be at work tomorrow for her actual birthday. She got allota good stuff. A special sweatshirt from her special Papa from Florida was definitely her favorite. 

Then, we made cupcakes for her to take to school tomorrow with her brand new professional Cake Boss cupcake making accessories….they are edible and SHE thinks they look good and that is all that matters. And we had fun doing it. But when I cook, I make a mess. Messes are no fun. They make me cranky.

So then, I took my 15 year old to the presentation about Honors/AP courses for her for next year. This is exciting stuff. This kid is way into school. Always has been. She is the one who would come home from nursery school, sit ME down and show me everything she did at school that day. Every day. My oldest never did that and my youngest would come home and go shut herself in her room for about 20 minutes and then she would come out and be ready to talk. I’m very proud of my 15 year old. She is smart and funny and kind and beautiful. But if you make me sit through a high school presentation about course work, Regents diplomas and credits, I am going to either try to get some laughs or I am going to fall asleep. I hate school. So, I kept leaning over making random comments to my kid and my friend. When one of the counselors was saying that there is a college fit for everyone, that not everyone needs to shoot for Yale I leaned over to my kid and said “She’s drunk. You aim for Harvard. I expect no less” and we laughed and laughed…and the principle gave us a dirty look. Then, the foreign  language teacher gave her spiel and said that there is independent study for families who might speak a foreign language in their home and that is another way to fulfill the credit requirement. I leaned over to my friend and said “So, you can teach the kids how to speak Canadian!!!” Language credit, check!

We came home and frosted more cupcakes. And now I am ready for bed.

I’m on the third book of the Divergent series and I am still totally and completely lost. But absolutely enthralled.

Hotels and hospitals are wicked nasty gross.

Lady Gaga. Attitude included...

Lady Gaga. Attitude included…

 

Spencer Goes To A Birthday Party

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spencer goes to a birthday party He’s looking for the cake…

If any of you are doubting the truth of my stories of Spencer, I now have witnesses. I had my annual Holiday/birthday party for the kids. Lots of people, LOTS of kids and LOTS AND LOTS of food. Spencer was in heaven with the whole kid/food combination. I warned everyone who came in about Spencer and his thieving, and Cecelia and her sneak attacks. I told Spencer stories and he layed there basking in the attention…

Children love Spence. He is huge and smelly and awkward and very funny and he farts. He’s like a clown dog. And he tolerates little kids trying to ride him or crawl on him. He loves it. Rub his tummy and he smiles…teeth and all. But all the while, he is keeping one eye on any dropped or unattended food. He casually walks by the garbage can and takes a peek, snatches the plate of cake and walks on into the living room to eat while enjoying the tree and the little kids playing. Now if he could just get someone to bring him his smoking jacket and pipe he would be all set sitting regally on the blue velvet sofa. Ass.

As I am standing in the kitchen talking with a friend, behind me Spencer is unattended in the dining room. And in front of at least 5 other people, Spencer takes a HUGE wedge of cake off a plate that was on the table and inhaled it. My friend tried to warn me. She pointed and yelled “DOG!! FOOD!!” and that was all she could get out before the cake was gone. The other guests were amazed at the gracefulness. He didn’ knock the plate off the table. They were impressed with his technique. That’s when he knew he had them all in the palm of his paw. Now he knew that they would bow down to honor him and treat him with the much lack respect previously afforded to such a funny fat smelly mutt. And he sashayed away with attitude…until he took one step on to the laminate flooring and his entire back end went down. And he kind of crawled/dragged himself to the rug, hoisted himself up, shook it off and turned left into the family room where he slid on his belly all the way to the couch. Impressed all the guests. But also made them feel compassion for this dog who is obviously on his last legs. He’s like a movie star past his prime but thinking he’s still got it.

Now, after the party I was cleaning up and putting away all the food. I took the garbage outside, did the dishes, wiped down the counters and let Spence catch the crumbs. After all, he put on a good show. But I either accidental left the fridge ajar or Spencer has another cool new trick. When I got up the next morning, all of my chicken wing dip was gone, half of a cheesecake, carton of eggnog pierced and spilled all over the floor. All of the saran wrap that I had used to cover the food was gone. And I haven’t seen it yet. And I kinda hope I never do.

So added to the list of Spencer tricks is refrigerator opening. I have to think he could be a very useful mutt. He could be trained to help people (lazy people like myself) Work for his meals. But his compulsion is so grand he wouldn’t be able to get me a snack without eating the entire thing before actually getting it to me.

I sat him down and explained the state of our economy and how it coincides with the diet that the vet wants to put him on. See I have no money to buy dog food and he needs to eat less. Serendipity!!

And for Christmas morning I will give him the gift of my grandmother’s cereal bowl for his new food portions and he will most likely give me back the saran wrap, used twice. We love each other and really think about a thoughtful gift for the Holiday. And if I am truly as loved as I think I am, he will leave it right where I will step in it with my bare feet. It’s love, dysfunctional love, but love none the less.

Spencer Goes To A Birthday Party

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Spencer Goes To A Birthday Party

He’s looking for the cake…

If any of you are doubting the truth of my stories of Spencer, I now have witnesses. I had my annual Holiday/birthday party for the kids. Lots of people, LOTS of kids and LOTS AND LOTS of food. Spencer was in heaven with the whole kid/food combination. I warned everyone who came in about Spencer and his thieving, and Cecelia and her sneak attacks. I told Spencer stories and he layed there basking in the attention…

Children love Spence. He is huge and smelly and awkward and very funny and he farts. He’s like a clown dog. And he tolerates little kids trying to ride him or crawl on him. He loves it. Rub his tummy and he smiles…teeth and all. But all the while, he is keeping one eye on any dropped or unattended food. He casually walks by the garbage can and takes a peek, snatches the plate of cake and walks on into the living room to eat while enjoying the tree and the little kids playing. Now if he could just get someone to bring him his smoking jacket and pipe he would be all set sitting regally on the blue velvet sofa. Ass.

As I am standing in the kitchen talking with a friend, behind me Spencer is unattended in the dining room. And in front of at least 5 other people, Spencer takes a HUGE wedge of cake off a plate that was on the table and inhaled it. My friend tried to warn me. She pointed and yelled “DOG!! FOOD!!” and that was all she could get out before the cake was gone. The other guests were amazed at the gracefulness. He didn’ knock the plate off the table. They were impressed with his technique. That’s when he knew he had them all in the palm of his paw. Now he knew that they would bow down to honor him and treat him with the much lack respect previously afforded to such a funny fat smelly mutt. And he sashayed away with attitude…until he took one step on to the laminate flooring and his entire back end went down. And he kind of crawled/dragged himself to the rug, hoisted himself up, shook it off and turned left into the family room where he slid on his belly all the way to the couch. Impressed all the guests. But also made them feel compassion for this dog who is obviously on his last legs. He’s like a movie star past his prime but thinking he’s still got it.

Now, after the party I was cleaning up and putting away all the food. I took the garbage outside, did the dishes, wiped down the counters and let Spence catch the crumbs. After all, he put on a good show. But I either accidental left the fridge ajar or Spencer has another cool new trick. When I got up the next morning, all of my chicken wing dip was gone, half of a cheesecake, carton of eggnog pierced and spilled all over the floor. All of the saran wrap that I had used to cover the food was gone. And I haven’t seen it yet. And I kinda hope I never do.

So added to the list of Spencer tricks is refrigerator opening. I have to think he could be a very useful mutt. He could be trained to help people (lazy people like myself) Work for his meals. But his compulsion is so grand he wouldn’t be able to get me a snack without eating the entire thing before actually getting it to me.

I sat him down and explained the state of our economy and how it coincides with the diet that the vet wants to put him on. See I have no money to buy dog food and he needs to eat less. Serendipity!!

And for Christmas morning I will give him the gift of my grandmother’s cereal bowl for his new food portions and he will most likely give me back the saran wrap, used twice. We love each other and really think about a thoughtful gift for the Holiday. And if I am truly as loved as I think I am, he will leave it right where I will step in it with my bare feet. It’s love, dysfunctional love, but love none the less.