Tag Archives: children

Fer cause then you might marry a goat!!!

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where is the controversy?

I went to my senior ball with my best friend. She is a girl. I am a girl. We are girls. No one said a thing about us going to our senior ball together. Not the teachers, not the students, not our mothers. No one. Maybe because we both wore dresses? I don’t think anyone thought we were gay, and I don’t think it would have occurred to us to be offended if they had. We both had many gay friends so being included in that clique was pretty normal for us anyway. We went together because 1: we were best friends, 2: I was living in Texas at the time just home visiting, and 3: her live in boyfriend had just moved to South Carolina. Really, if you don’t have a partner, who better to do something special with than your best friend? 

We both wore black cocktail dresses and we had our pictures taken by the professional photographer. I think we probably even danced together. No one shut down the ball or kicked us out or condemned us to hell for having fun. That was 1991. Now, in the year 2010, a girl was not allowed to bring her girlfriend to her senior ball. I don’t get it. I mean, I do. I hear bigoted, ignorant, people who try really hard to force others to conform to their rigid ideas of humanness. I know they exist and I know they hold positions of power in society. What I do not understand is what exactly were they trying to accomplish by canceling the entire senior ball and blaming it on this girl who wanted to go with her girlfriend? Maybe they thought all the kids would hate her and attack her like some scene out of Carrie? How sick are these freaks who “run” the school, state, country? 

I watched a few interviews with the girl who was at the center of the controversy. It really didn’t seem like she was asking for anything. She just wanted to go to her senior ball with someone she liked. And, of course, the students would blame her for the cancellation of her prom…cause they are kids, without fully developed frontal lobes, so, they are not fully rational humans yet. Unlike the school officials, who decided it would be a good idea to ruin every kid’s prom experience because one kid wanted to bring a girl as a date and wear pants. Cause those school officials have fully developed frontal lobes and well, ok, maybe they don’t. 

It isn’t suprising but it is sad. I don’t ever remember caring if someone was gay or straight as a kid. It was just a non issue for me. I mean, for my gay friends it was an issue, I don’t discount that they went through their own private hell in coming out. But when they did come out, it certainly didn’t make me love them any less or change my view of them. They are beautiful people no matter who they hold hands with. To be honest, I don’t want to think of anyone having sex….not straight people or gay people or people I know or people I don’t know. Other people’s sex lives do not interest me. Why do they interest government officials? Because God told them to be interested? Ok, but we have separation of church and state so if God is talking to the elected officials then they should pick a new profession such as priest where it is perfectly ok to think about kids having sex. 

I do not understand who these officials think they are saving or helping. I do not understand why it is ok to discriminate. Since when, in America, the country that fights wars for peoples civil liberties, is it ok to make laws against an entire population? I know we have a long history of doing this. To African-Americans, to women, to Japanese, to Irish, to kids. We have blemish marks on our record as a country that is all for human rights. But we learned from our mistakes, right? Now we know better, therefore we DO better, right? 

Not yet. Apparently we are still screwing up. I can only imagine how ashamed we will feel in the future(not that many of us don’t already feel ashamed) when we look back and have to teach the early 21st century history which will include bans against same-sex marriage or gay adoptions. We will feel the shame. The same shame that we feel today when we teach about slavery and discrimination against women or against black people and white people marrying or child labor. It was wrong, we learned our lesson, we will not do it again. 

Except for the gays…they can’t get married. Cause that would be wrong? Gross? The beginning of the end of our society? Because gay people are LESS than straight people. That must be it. They don’t count. Gay marriage will hurt US!! In fact, they really don’t deserve any rights what so ever!! Not to vote or attend school or ride the bus. Oh now come on! That is taking it too far!! Just not to get married and we should make it really hard for them to adopt. After all, if the gays adopt all the kids, they could start a gay army and then take over all of us straight people and make us gay!! 

Gay isn’t contagious. You can’t catch it or “make” someone gay. I don’t get the discrimination at all. I can kind of understand the warped mentality of discrimination against women….we look different from men. Or blacks….they are a different color. Or kids….they are smaller than grown ups. But gay people? Gay people look exactly like all of the other minorities” we” have already decided to accept. How can we justify withholding basic human rights from a human being

But we do. And some of us yell and scream about it and some of us quietly protest. There are some of us who will love and accept our gay friends but when it comes down to it they will deny them, just like Peter denied Jesus when confronted. Why? How can anyone possibly believe that it is ok to discriminate. We are in the 21st century in a country that was founded on the idea that we should be free. I won’t argue with you, try to change your mind. But I know, from personal experience, that gay people live and love just exactly like you do and they make great parents and they have healthy, long-lasting relationships. I wish the powers that be could have had my upbringing because if they had they would have no fear and they would do what is right and good. 

But they didn’t. Although there has to come a day when we get over the tainted messages we were given as children and become adults who can incorporate the ideas and philosophies other than the outdated ones that parents, church or bigoted peers taught us. Just cause my great great grandma said it doesn’t mean I have to live my life by it. 

Today, my best friend and I are looking forward to our 20th high school reunion. She is married with 3 kids, I am divorced with 3 kids and we will go together. I said that everyone will think we really were a couple back then, and that we still are. And they will think that her husband is just our baby maker. We laughed at that idea. Who cares? I mean really, if you have time to worry about who your next door neighbor is doing then you have far too much time on your hands. Get some Pride.

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Move it Grandma!!!

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Only someone over 70 and under 10 would do this and find it hystericaly funny

I love old people. And I say that with total honesty and with the hope that I am not offending anyone over the age of 75. Because of all the old people I grew up with, I don’t think old happens till after 75ish. And even then, it really is just a frame of reference. Old people (speaking generally here, you may know some old people who are jerks, I don’t) have gotten past the looks, the money, the judgements that younger people tend to value above all else. And that is part of what makes old people so fun to be around.

I spent alot of time with old people. My parents taught me the value of my elders before any other value. Makes sense because elders have all the rest of the values pretty much wrapped up. Winning the love and friendship of an older person was a very special thing. We had lots of older people in my neighborhood and in my church and in my family. They never judged me on my outside appearance, even when they probably should have. It seems that if we are lucky, as we age, our eyesight becomes more refined and we are able to see people as they are on the inside. An acceptance of a human being rather than a human doing.

But that is not to say that the old people let me get away with anything. Like I said, their values are solid and they are not scared to offend. Why should they be? They have been there, done that and they are not shy about telling you. It is us younger people, without patience, without understanding, with terminal uniqueness who can’t be bothered with listening. It is us who judge, who laugh at and who don’t care the way we should.When I was 14, I was sneaking a smoke in my garage. My Aunt Rose walked in and I rolled the cigarette over to a friend. I was totally busted. She came right over to me and gave me a hug and said “If you think that just because you make a mistake that I’m not going to love you, you’re wrong. I love you even when you do stupid stuff. Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Do you think I haven’t done many stupid things in my life?” and with that she went in to visit with my mother. I felt more love than was my right as a 14 year old (cause I was a pretty big ass when I was 14…)

 My parents took care of the generations before them. Not just when they could no longer care for themselves. But they actually visited and helped when they weren’t asked. They did so because they knew that these old people were priceless. And once they were gone, they were gone. One of the best gifts my parents ever gave me was a true appreciation for my elders.

Today, I would rather sit in quiet contemplation with someone from a generation gone by than try to keep up with the gossip on who is wearing what or going where with whom and how much they made last year. I actually enjoy talking with older people. They have far more interesting things to say than younger people. I wonder exactly when we stopped valuing old people. When did we get so self involved that nursing homes became the norm? I know many times a nursing home is the best option, but many other times it is the easiest solution. When I got married, I made sure my then husband understood that we would be the ones to take care of my parents when the time came and that unless circumstances became dire, they would not go into a nursing home. And he agreed. And I did take care of my father as he died, not from old age, but from cancer. The loss I feel is both that of my father and that of a connection to a generation.

Old people have time to give. They know that the rush doesn’t matter in the end. They know that the only thing that matters is the right here and now. They understand the value of friendship, the importance of family and how to put those two ideas into practice. They know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they do not have all the answers and therein lies the wisdom. They have witnessed not only their own life but the lives of history. There is a reason that old people and young children get along so well. Neither one of them judges the other on their outward appearance. They see with their hearts.Wouldn’t it be  lovely to not to have to judge others. It is exhausting keeping up with the Joneses not to mention the Kardashians. Really takes a toll.

Elders are not disposable or to be laughed at or stuck away only to be brought out on special occasions. They are to be held, and spoken to, and learned from. When I was 16 and my grandma died, I was sad to lose her, but I was more upset that I never got to ask her the questions I didn’t even know I had. I wanted to ask her the secret to a long marriage, and to raising kids, and what she would have done differently if anything. She was 84 and even then I felt it was too soon, there was so much more I needed to learn from her. But as is the way of life, other older people have come into my life. None with the specific answers but all with a way to live that I can admire.

Old people are just way more fun. They no longer have the hang ups, they are ready and willing to be who they are, no excuses. They know how to forgive. They get what the important things in life are. It is a shame that we younger people don’t see what they have to offer as invaluable. Time runs out so quickly and then another generation is gone. What have we learned? I tell you what, we are all headed in the same direction. We are all actively dying and there is no escape from the end. And if we are very, very lucky, we will be that little old person pissing off the young person behind us as we drive to Wegmans to get ingredients to make cookies for our grandkids….but only if we are lucky.