Tag Archives: kids

The Chickens Come Home To Roost

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I am pissed. I have been in shock, and angry and ready for change. Now I am furious.

Two weeks ago we had another mass shooting at a high school in Florida. Seventeen people died, students and teachers. The surviving students have been absolutely awe inspiring in the aftermath of this tragedy. Organizing, speaking out, taking a stand. Doing everything that we adults haven’t done. I have watched and listened to these kids and cried in sorrow and shame for all that they have lost. Not just friends, but innocence. Senseless. I’ve cried tears of pride for their choice to take this unspeakable tragedy and use their energy and power to make change. As much as what they lived through is what is wrong in this world, these kids are what’s right.

Of course, as happens after these mass shootings, copycats pop up. Who knows why. Maybe they want to somehow ride the wave of chaos to some sort of infamy? Maybe they see it as their chance to be the guy who everyone finally takes seriously? Maybe it’s just some dumbass who wants to be the hero who gets school shut down for a day? Whatever their reason, they contribute to the sense of fear and force us to face the reality that none of our kids are safe.

“They” say that anger is a secondary emotion usually used to cover up fear. I think “they” are generally correct, but not always. Today I am pissed. I got a robocall from the principle of our high school at 6:50am today. There had been a threat made against our school last night about 9:30pm. It was investigated and found to be NOT credible. Good. He went on to say that in light of this threat and to show that they were taking this very seriously, there would be a police presence in all of our schools today. High school, Middle and Elementary. Ok. That angers me on so many levels I can’t even begin. Mostly just the fact that this is where we are today in this country. This is how our kids have to live. That there are kids out there who are so bored, stupid, mentally off, evil, bullied, or needing attention that they will make threats against their fellow classmates.

Active shooter drills are a way of life for our kids. Shelter in place drills have replaced fire drills as the most important skill to learn. WHY ARE WE TOLERATING THIS? Why are we ok with teaching our kids to run, fight, hide ? This is a fixable problem. And we have had YEARS to fix it. And we have failed miserably. And children have died, continue to die. And that is FULLY on us. On me, on you, on our government and our choices. We have not only allowed but literally promoted gun violence, either intentionally or by our silence.

I think people think I’m kidding when I say we need to get rid of ALL guns. ALL of them and now. Not in 10 years, not just semi automatic weapons. ALL guns. Gone. Turn them in, melt them down. Done. I don’t care if you think you “need” your gun for hunting (no you don’t) or for protection (get some mace) or for your God given right (there are zero guns in the bible you wingnut). I don’t care. Get rid of them all. It is the year 2018 and there is no reason for anyone to have guns. None. And you will not convince me otherwise.

I lived in the middle of the woods, on the side of a steep hill with 3 little babies and crack dealers banging on my door in the middle of the night. My closest neighbor was about a mile down the dirt road and she was 78 with slight dementia. I understand being scared in your own home because of BOTH wildlife and criminals. I understand needing to protect your property and your family. I did so without the use of a gun. Oh and yes, it absolutely took the State Police over 45 minutes to show up once they were called. You have NO excuse. I had bats and squirrels and foxes, feral cats, rabid raccoons and 10 point bucks shot by some inadequate hunter and angry in my back yard. No gun needed.

The second amendment means nothing to me. I used to be a “libtard” who would say that I defend your right to bear arms. I used to support your right to hunt, to stand your ground. But, y’all have proved yourselves to be idiots and irresponsible and one child dying from gun violence is one child too many. I don’t think stricter laws will help. Background checks won’t solve this problem. No more guns for anyone would be the best way to start.

We are a relatively young country. We are an experiment. And this part of the experiment has gone tragically awry. So, we do what we have always done and we make a change. We tried allowing guns for our citizens, it didn’t work, so now we get rid of the guns. Very simple. I know, the people who have money invested try to complicate this and make it seem like getting rid of guns won’t solve the problem, but ya know what? They lie.

How about this…we get rid of ALL guns now, and if in 10 years we are still having mass shootings, we can revisit allowing guns in our society. But let’s just try it. Just to see…just to prove me wrong. I dare you.

 

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Welcome to Winter Mr. Georgia

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First we had to find the car... What YOU got Mr. Georgia? Riiiiight. Nuthin. Now shut up. slow down and don't be a dink. Happy Winter!!

First we had to find the car… What YOU got Mr. Georgia? Riiiiight. Nuthin. Now shut up. slow down and don’t be a dink. Happy Winter!!

This morning we had to go get guinea pig supplies. Why? Because sometimes I do things that my own mother wouldn’t let me do when I was a kid just because…and my kid asked for a guinea pig for her birthday. I don’t particularly care for rodents, even chipmunks in the wild sort of creep me out all looking like they are tweaked out on meth…spazzy freaks. So, we went through a small blizzard to pick up these cracked out guinea pigs last night. Brothers. Swell. They came with a bowl of food, their cage, water bottle, igloo and bedding. Awesome. To make the trip even funner, the two 12 year olds decided that the No Singing In The Car Rule was no longer in effect and sang the same song over and over and over and over and over and over, loudly. Every once in a while they would scream/giggle as only 12 year old girls in a small car during a snow storm can do. Good times.

Did I mention it was a two hour drive round trip? And my tires are bald. And it was a blizzard. With two girls singing We Are Young like it was the anthem to their whole life. My eye is still twitching.

We got home, got in the house, where I promptly dropped the cage. Which means it was an instant guinea pig party. Bedding went everywhere and the pigs ran for cover under the table where the cats usually sit. Lucky for them the cats were busy harassing the dog. We corral the pigs, fix the cage, the twitching in my eye worsens and I call it a night.

But today is a new day. We hop in the car right after our snow plow guy comes and plows us out. We head to the animal store. I drive slow in the winter. I just do. Sometimes I put on my hazards and flip off anyone who dares to pass me. I have a fair amount of road rage on a good day. On a day when it is still snowing, the roads are shitastic and my tires are bald. I have no control over what comes out of my mouth. I took a turn and went sliding and swearing towards the curb. I manged to pull out of it and continue on down the small hill. Now listen, I know y’all are going to think I get what I deserve for driving around on bald tires. Well, I’ll give you that. In my defense, I have always had crappy cars with way worse issues than bald tires and I haven’t gotten my tax return yet so I can’t afford new tires. And what am I supposed to do? Let the guinea pigs starve? I know I know…I see the flawed logic. Suspend your judgments and just let me finish the story ok? Geeze.

I notice this douchebag behind me who is on my ass. Now, that makes me nervous because what if I slip again? What if the guy ahead of me starts to spin out? Doesn’t the douchebag know how to drive in the snow? Increase your distance, slow down, stay in control of your vehicle at all times. I was going slow, just under the speed limit but not outrageously slow. Just being safe really. It was in the village so I was doing maybe 30 in a 35 zone. Douchebag is so close I can see his douchy expression. Anyway, the road splits and I move into the left lane to take a turn at the light. He comes up next to me and looks at me with hate in his eyes. I guess he didn’t expect to see me there with bigger hate and bigger eyes. I gave him a look that said “You are giant moron douchebag and I have no doubt that your wife got the friends in the divorce and your kids hate you and your dog ran away because you are such a turd”. He slowly turned his big fat douchbag head back to the road ahead of him and I laughed to myself. Because I knew he wanted to give me some sort of feeling of shame by looking at me like I was doing something wrong. Instead, he got shamed. I mean really. It’s a freaking blizzard. Where you gotta be bro? Target?

As happens in this world of engineered roads and stoplights, we got to the red at the same time. Now, I am enjoying this because he is so obviously annoyed which makes me feel sort of giddy. I know that feeling of sheer aggravation towards another driver who is just not doing it MY way when clearly MY way is the RIGHT way. I know how he feels towards me and I am loving it!!! Because I also know that he is a ridiculous idiot just like I am when I pretend I am directing other drivers with my curse words and finger pointing. It is senseless and silly. And oh so satisfying when someone else is experiencing their moment of total impotence. I slowly turn my head and give him a look of absolute innocence and complete dipshityness. This ticks him off so badly he starts having a conversation with himself about my car, pointing and trying to convince himself that somehow my driving reasonably in seasonable weather is somehow making his life unbearable. I blink twice and smile like I am missing a few key synapses connections and the light turns green. He floors it and fishtails and almost 360’s but manages to hold it together to be the first to the next red light…As I calmly pull up next to him again, I see steam coming out of his ears and his lips have disappeared and his eyebrows have become one. Apparently, he REALLY needs to get to Target. Must be some sort of emergency? Maybe a hot date? A really good sale? He makes his turn to the right after mouthing some more of his one man monologue about his obviously superior driving skills and I take my left.

Listen Mr. Georgia Licence Plate Brand New Subaru, unless your wife is in advanced labor with a baby head hanging out between her knees or your mother is having a heart attack and is severely allergic to ambulance rides then you really, truly have no where important to be. Not in the middle of February in Central New York. You just don’t. Not when it is snowing like a mofo and the roads are ice, covered in snow, covered in ice, covered in evil. Stop driving like an ass. It’s winter in freaking Syracuse. There is absolutely no where you have to be. Or as they say in the south “Bless your heart, I hope you wound up in a ditch”.

Dear Diary, Whata Year

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Peace Out Bitches

Peace Out Bitches

I am older, wiser, fatter, smarter, greyer, squishier, and alot of other “er” things. I am still a dancer despite my best attempts at working a “regular” job. I left dance like it was a lover who cheated but dance refused to let me go. Isn’t that all sorts of romantic? It has to be because that is all the romance you are gonna get from me tonight.

2014 brought about many changes which is sort of to be expected when you are a mother. Kids grow and change thereby forcing their parents to grow and change. That’s some deep shit right there…

I put some thought into what my life is going to look like in the coming years and it freaked me right the fuck out so, I made a conscious decision to STOP thinking about my future. I’ll either wind up living under a bridge or meet a kazillionaire who will fund my retirement.

I lost some and gained some. Life changed. I was sick and well. I am surprised at how fast this year went. I realized this when I thought about calling and making an appointment to get my taxes done. I only see this guy once a year but it seems like the time between seeing him is getting smaller. It isn’t, it is just me thinking it is. Cause I’m old now.

Haven’t found my birth parents yet. Haven’t received my medical licence yet. Haven’t driven to California yet. I’m curious to see if any of those things happen in the coming year.

Love you guys!!! Have a great year!!!

And to all a good night...

And to all a good night…

Dear Diary, My Friends Are Jealous

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No, seriously, they are. Which I think is stupid but hey…I guess since they know all of the intimate details of my life they must feel like they are lacking or something. Anyway, let me tell you about my week…so I can make the rest of you feel jealous…Started out with my desk top dying. I know I know, first world probs…whatev. Put it in context. The context is I LIVE IN A FIRST WORLD COUNTRY. Believe me, if I was in West Africa this whole blog would be about Ebola, if I was in the Middle East it would be all about war and if I was in Scotland, it would be about how stupid my countrymen are. But I live here so…

Follow up the desk top dying with the bathroom sink deciding that it wanted new pipes. It didn’t consult with me before it made this decision, just went ahead and started leaking. So, the plumber came and cut away part of my kitchen ceiling, told me there was some sort of nest near the pipes and he would be back next week. Let’s keep track…that’s a dead computer, a leaking bathroom sink necessitating removal of the kitchen ceiling and discovery of a nest that has now been disturbed and is directly above the hole. So far so good. Jealous yet? Oh, did I mention that my debit card number was stolen and my checking account cleaned out? Yes well, what can I say? I’m just luckier than you..

I had a few days respite. Mainly because I had no money. I just sat in my kitchen, below the hole, with a shotgun awaitin fer that dern animal to show it’s furry little face. Ok, I’m exaggerating. I didn’t have a shot gun. I had a tennis racket. And iffen that animal pokes it’s head outta that there hole I’ma whoop it square inatween it’s eyes and cook it fer dinner. That part I am serious about. We’re hungry.

Next up, I decided to make dinner. I decided on potatoes. I took out my mandolin and played the theme from Deliverance. Just kidding. A mandolin is a kitchen aid that slices stuff with a wicked sharp blade. It is tilted at an angle and you slide whatever it is you need sliced back and forth and it makes uniform slices. It comes with this handy little tool that stabs the vegetable so that your hands stay safe and far away from the very sharp blade. But I rarely use the handy little tool. Because, duh. So, I was sliding the potato and it was slicing nicely and then….the potato slipped.

And I sliced off a chunk of my middle finger. Now, I have done things like this before so I walked over to the sink to run my finger under water and I saw bone. Yup. You’re turning green with jealousy now aren’t you? So, I scream for my kid who takes her time because she think I am yelling for her because the dog pooped or something and she is going to have to clean it up. Now there I stand with a good chunk of my finger missing, blood everywhere and the kid just meandering down the stairs la tee da….I scream ” GET THE DOG WE HAVE TO GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM NOW!” I swear I have never seen a teenager move so fast. She chased the dog into his crate and came running back. I was already in the car. As she came out the door it occurred to me that I might need the missing chunk which was laying somewhere in the pile of potato slices.

I yelled for my kid to find the chunk of finger in case it needed to be reattached and grab a Coke out of the fridge as I hadn’t eaten all day and I was feeling a little woosey and the ER is about 25 minutes away. She didn’t even question it. Just turned around, found my finger chunk, grabbed a Coke and ran to the car. What followed was 25 minutes of me driving, singing, swearing and laughing at the absurdity of it all. My kid sat in the passenger seat, supporting my arm so my finger stayed above my head and watching me for any signs that I might be passing out from loss of blood.

We got to the ER and waited. It wasn’t crowded. Just 2 people ahead of me. The triage nurse asked me all of the usual questions and then didn’t believe me when I said I have never had a surgery. No idea why she didn’t believe me but she sat there stunned and then said “Are you sure?” Um…yeah…pretty sure I would remember having a surgery or at least someone would have told me or I would have had a scar or…wait….maybe I HAVE had a surgery…maybe this nurse who I have never met before in my life is right…I mean, she IS a nurse and I am just some lady with a chopped off finger chunk, a dead computer, a leaking bathroom and some sort of critter living in my ceiling hole. What do I know? Maybe she was just jealous.They finally took me back to the exam room and the nurse said something no one wants to hear when going into an ER ” It’s a little messy in here”. The Doctor came in. He was very funny. He looked at the finger chunk my kid had so thoughtfully brought along and held the whole time because it grossed me out to even think about it. He said we could make a necklace out of it if we wanted but it wasn’t going back where it came from. He ripped off the paper towel and made my kid look at my wound as he said ” YOU should have been slicing the potatoes!” Then he bandaged me up while I sat there making ugly faces and singing “This is the grossest thing that has ever happened to me and I am so grossed out cause this is gross gross me out the door grossey gross gross…” It was a pretty good song.

The Doctor asked me all the usual questions : chest pain? no. throat pain? no. diabetus? no. allergies? no. surgery? no. And he paused…surgery? no. None? no. Ever? no…What the heck? Maybe I need surgery for something? I mean, now that you mention it, my gallbladder has been feeling sort of off now and then…will that make my finger stop hurting? Medical professionals are weird.

He left. We sat there waiting for the nurse to come back to see if I had changed my mind about having had surgery in the past. I stuck by my original answer of no, no surgeries and they let me go. I left my finger chunk on the tray in case they needed it for someone else. I’m generous like that.

So, my darling friends, if you weren’t jealous of my fabulous life before I know you are now. Also, I typed this whole post with just my left hand. It took HOURS. All so you can envy me. You want to be me. And here are some pictures for you to drool over…

In the waiting room...holding the finger chunk in what shall hence forth be referred to as my Good Hand

In the waiting room…holding the finger chunk in what shall hence forth be referred to as my Good Hand

The Finger Chunk

The Finger Chunk

Lookit ma finger!!!!

Lookit ma finger!!!!

No for real, this face makes my finger feel better

No for real, this face makes my finger feel better

This is my

This is my “does this bandage make my finger look fat” face…

Ask me if I have had surgery in the past again...go ahead...ASK ME.

Ask me if I have had surgery in the past again…go ahead…ASK ME.

Dear Diary, I Am Mad At Tyler Perry

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This is what i looked like thru the whole damn movie....

This is what I looked like thru the whole damn movie….

Today, a few single mom girlfriends and I went to see Tyler Perry’s Single Moms Club. I was really excited about this movie. I am a single mom. Finally someone was going to tell MY story. And I got to hang out with other single moms! We all brought our kids and they went to see The Muppet Movie while we were in our movie. That worked out well…especially since I was so forward thinking in having my kids at such a young age so that when my friends had kids later in life, I would have the kids who can babysit. Cause that is just the kind of friend I am. Considerate. Or really bad with birth control…either way, it has worked out well for all of us.

I didn’t think this was going to be an award winning movie. But Tyler Perry is very popular and I have liked some of his other things…he generally tells a good story. But he totally dropped the ball on this one. I mean it was insulting and I usually don’t  recognize when I am being insulted. Maybe he was bored, maybe he needs money, maybe someone forced him to write this movie…maybe he just wanted an excuse to kiss Nia Long…not sure but the acting was awful, the directing was worse, the story was shit, the heartwarming scenes were cliché and the humor was non existent. He showcased every stereotype single mother, never developed any real back story and then had them all realize they should be more co-dependent on their kids and if their ex is an asshole they can just take him back to court for more money. And in the end it’s all ok because the ladies all find men. Just snooze. Lacking the romance that would have intrigued us single mothers, lacking the reality of the true struggle of co-parenting, and disrespecting us and the fear and anguish that court brings up for all of us when we are forced to go that route makes me really angry with Tyler Perry.

I guess it’s definitely a life experience that if you haven’t “been there, done that” then you should just keep your mouth shut. No one can tell the story of single motherhood unless they have been a single mother. You can argue with me and say that creative people or emphatic people can absolutely tell a story from the view point of a single mother. And they might be able to describe but they will never be able to convey and relate. And that’s ok. The ways we are the same but different,the real discriminations we face daily. The true grief we struggle with. The secrets we keep so that we don’t hurt the new partners we become involved with. It’s compound and complex and hard as hell. It is also the most rewarding thing we could possible do with our lives. There is no substitute for a two parent home, and we single moms know that and yet, we give our children more than we could have by staying married. We are lucky in that we get to have a very unique and special relationship with our kids. We might not have a partner there to witness them growing up or share the overwhelming love we feel for them, but we get to single handedly receive all the love, all of the pride, all of the closeness and we don’t have to share it with anyone else. It’s not selfish, it is one of the many perks of being a single mom.

Tyler Perry basically called the single mothers in his movie lazy, wealthy, emotionally distressed, non authoritative, with kids who are entitled, in jail and unbalanced. He said with this movie that we are all looking for a man to be the stability in our lives, that we are fundamentally unhappy alone and at the very least we need sex. Now, those things may be true OCCASIONALLY. but it is not the standard or the norm. And all of that bullshit would have been tolerable if he had a story that was worth watching. If the acting was not sub par or if the directing supported the actors. But, basically, it sucked. I am offended and pissed off and unentertained. It’s a damn good thing the popcorn was fresh and I had my girlfriends with me or Tyler Perry would have at least 3 emails from me tonight telling him where he can stick his movie.

But I got to hang out with some phenomenal single moms who are really doing it all, just like I am. We laughed at the stupidity  and marveled at the stilettos all the moms in the movie were wearing…who the hell goes to pick up their kid at school in platform stilettos? The ONLY woman I have ever seen do that is happily married…weird. Thumbs down Tyler Perry Single Moms Club and a giant BOO HISS. Unless you go with your single mom friends and make fun of it, or if you are not a single mom, then there is no reason for anyone to go see this one.

The movie made my face like this...I think it is frozen this way...crap. Now how the hell am I going to find that sexy man and make him save me from my sad pathetic little life. Thanks alot Tyler Perry.

The movie made my face like this…I think it is frozen this way…crap. Now how the hell am I going to find that sexy man and make him save me from my sad pathetic little life. Thanks alot Tyler Perry.

 

Dear Diary, Day of Destiny

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This is at my kid's high school. We are all about being vintage.

This is at my kid’s high school. We are all about being vintage.

Sounds exciting huh? It’s not. Destiny USA is the name of one of our local malls. It is simply an expansion of our old mall which was built on toxic waste dump. I really do not enjoy going to Destiny. It’s big and overpriced and the people it attracts are dumb (present company excluded). I don’t enjoy the atmosphere at all. And I am in continual state of being totally and completely broke so, there’s that.

This week the kids had mid winter recess. My youngest had basketball camp every day in the morning. Wednesday we celebrated her birthday with her friends. We went to The Mall. Worse yet, we went to an overpriced arcade in the mall with really lousy food. But the kids loved it. I almost kicked a mother in the fanny pack and I definitely made ugly faces at the kid who jumped in line ahead of my kid for Mario Kart.  Turn down the lights, turn up the music, add some electronic competition and you get a bunch of giant assholes. Back when I was a kid we could only play Pac Man at the bowling alley or the pizza shop and we had to walk up hill both ways in the snow. With plastic bread bags inside our boots.

Thursday, my 15 year old had The Boyfriend over. They made cookies and she forced him to watch The Notebook. It may not have been The Notebook but every movie the 15 year old watches seems like The Notebook to me. We saw The Monuments Men.Too much George Clooney and smoking but very good movie over all.

We did some other stuff. And some other stuff. It snowed and it rained. I have had nightmares every night for a week. I think I am trying to subconsciously kill myself with cheese.

Oh yeah, and I went to Sochi. The only picture I took was of the tandem toilets. Because Russia.

Oh yeah, and I went to Sochi. The only picture I took was of the tandem toilets. Because Russia.

 

Dear Diary, Day of Dis-ease

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She thought maybe this was Platform Nine and three quarters...she was wrong.

She thought maybe this was Platform Nine and three quarters…she was wrong.

I had cheese last night before I passed out. I don’t think this is a good idea. I do not recommend it. But getting home at 10:30pm and wanting to sleep, cheese seemed like a good idea. I woke up, um, not hungry. But whatever. I had to go to the bank and then the other bank and then to the Village Office to pay my taxes. I had to pay them today or I would have to pay the overdue fine. I made it to both banks and by the time I got to the Village Office I was feeling really queasy. I was still in my pj’s, the dog was in the car. I was blaming the cheese.

I went in. Paid my taxes in a total haze, walked out and threw up in the bushes. As if that isn’t bad enough, some guy in a truck was just pulling in and my dog decided that I was taking too long getting back to the car and started barking like he was going to die. I had no water so I grabbed some clean snow and shoved it in my mouth and spit it out. Momentary gratefulness that it is winter.

Had to walk by the guy getting out of his truck to get to my car. I think I mumbled something about taxes making me sick and dove into my car and yelled at the dog to quit barking.

Got home, showered. And that is when I found out that we are out of toilet paper. Also out of paper towels. But I found a box of tissues that were only half gone. It’s turning out to be a great day!

I had to get the kids from school and drop my 15 year old off to her babysitting gig. The 11 year old needed Valentine’s Cards for school tomorrow. I sent her into the drug store with my debt card and instructions to get toilet paper. And hurry. She did. We came home, I took a nap while she did homework and took the dog out for a pee. When I got up, I felt a bit better. We cracked open the Vday cards. Ofcourse she doesn’t have her class list. Ofcourse she doesn’t. She starts to sign her name to the first one and she says “Oh look it says ‘I’m glad God made us friends’ that’s weird huh mom? ” …..um…WHAT? *sigh* She accidentally bought God cards with the bible verse on the back and everything. Now, don’t get on my case. I love God, I love Valentine’s Day but I am NOT in the mood to start a riot. It’s 2014 and maybe you don’t pay attention but I do and I know that someone would make a stink. Plus, they were just plain  bad cards.  If my kid got a God  VDay card I would be a little irritated to tell you the truth.

There finds me in the basement trying to find the VDay box of left over crap. The cat poop smell is overwhelming me. I am cursing everyone I can think of. I am hating life.

I usually decorate and make valentines for everyone but this year I was just not feeling it. I finally found the damn box. Brought it up and managed to find 24 assorted cards. Barbie, Harry Potter, Rug Rats, Simpsons, Generic Princess, and Power Rangers. She put alot of thought into which kid would like which card the best. Meanwhile, I was throwing up in the kitchen sink.

She showered, ate, and went to bed. No kisses for me tonight. Praying she doesn’t catch this bug…in fact, I will send God a Valentine’s Day card so he won’t afflict my child with this ravaging illness.

Happy almost Valentine's Day.

Happy almost Valentine’s Day.