Tag Archives: memory loss

1993 Never Forgets

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This is what 1993 looked like...recent life events are beginning to make more sense...

This is what 1993 looked like…recent life events are beginning to make more sense…

I stopped gathering my mail from the mail box a few months ago. Right after Christmas…because…why bother? It’s not going to be good news. It’s only going to be junk or bills. And that’s not fun. In my effort to keep my PMA I decided that the mail and the phone will be avoided at all costs…except when I am expecting a check or when my best friend calls. That’s it. Everything else is crap.

But, I know sometimes criminals will watch a mail box and if the mail isn’t collected daily they will break in and steal stuff, thinking the people are on vacation. Now, seeings how I am not on vacation, but am sitting quietly inside my house I certainly do NOT want any criminlas breaking in and catching me in my pj’s with my hair not done. That would be embarrassing for them and for me. Therefore, I collect my mail every few days…ya know, to keep the criminals away.

So, friday I grabbed a wad of mail out of the box and brought it in and threw it on the chair and ignored it. Well, I didn’t really ignore it. I gave it the finger every time I walked by it. Until yesterday, when with resentment and curse words and lots and lots of anger, I went thru the mail. It was mostly junk, a few bills and of course the “hey Dumbass Pay Your Student Loans” letters. Oh but there was ONE from the city court saying “OPEN ME RIGHT NOW OR BE VERY VERY SORRY” Damn it. I hate when they say that right on the outside of the envelope. So, I reluctantly opened it.

Inside was a letter saying that in 1993, I was given a ticket for not properly attaching my registration or maybe inspection sticker to the windshield of my car as required by NYS law. Wait…what???? 1993???? I don’t remember 1993. At all. Or 1992 for that matter. Regardless, they will be suspending my driver’s licence as of May 18th if I don’t resolve this issue…wow.

In august of 1993 I was 19 years old. I had a Chevy Citation that I can’t be sure even had a windshield to affix anything to. But 20 years later, after college, homes bought and sold, 3 kids, a divorce and many many new cars (with working windshields) I am going to be put through the hassle of having my licence revoked? Because of 1993????

THIS IS WHY I DON’T COLLECT MY MAIL!!!

I call the city court and lo and behold, this particular ticket had been dismissed in 1994. GREAT! But, this is me we are talking about so…..there is a similar ticket from 2006 that is actually the one that will suspend my licence. What???? 2006????? Ya know what happened in 2006? You don’t want to know what happened in 2006. It wasn’t a good year. I remember it well.

Ok, now I have to go to the city court, get the ticket, go to traffic court and see if the judge will dismiss it. Or fine me, whatever but I can’t have my licence suspended. I am the ONLY driver and my kids have STUFF to do. And I drive 60 miles a day round trip for work. I wish I could hire a chauffeur but alas, I am a single mother so no help for me ( come on…just a little sympathy…no? Fine)

I go to the city, find a parking spot with the old fashion parking meter that takes change, put in 2 hours worth of quarters because it would be so ironic to get a parking ticket while in traffic court, and go directly into the wrong courthouse. After going thru the metal detector and being patted down because I kept beeping (maybe there is a metal plate in my head and THAT is why I can’t remember 1993…it’s possible) I march right into the wrong room. They tell me I have to go to the other court house around the block. Great. I go get in my car not thinking that I am literally one block away from the other courthouse, drive all over the city to find another parking spot literally a quarter block from my first parking spot. It is so hard to be me sometimes.

I hop out, put in another 2 hours worth of quarters in the meter and march to the other courthouse. I find the right place. The lady behind the counter listens to my story, pulls up the paperwork and tells me to go to the courtroom. She looked very sympathetic to my plight which I appreciated. Off I go to see the judge. I check in with the officer and take my seat in the pew. No really, they are pews, not seats. Being in a pew, I said a prayer “Please God, don’t let me be arrested” For what? I have no idea but I am not kidding when I say I have no recollection of 1993…

Here comes the judge. We stand, she sits, we sit and I wait for the organ music to start. But just because we are sitting in pews does not mean we get to sing hymns. I learn something new every day! Then this super duper cute guy in a suit and tie calls my name. This experience just got alot better!! But wait! Maybe it’s a trap!!!! What the hell did I do in 1993????? He takes me into another room and sits me down. This kid is maybe all of 22. But golly he sure is cute! He says that the most he can do is knock the ticket down to a parking violation and I will just pay a small fine and be done with it. I blinked and wiped my drool (I am not kidding this guy was HAWT) and said ok! And he sent me back out to wait for the judge to call my name.

In line before me were incarcerated people and people who had lawyers with them. That was interesting. To watch the judge and how she was very stern and realistic with these people who had been arrested for lots of things. The dynamic between the lawyers and the judge was also interesting to watch. And then the guard called my name. And part of me wanted to run up to the bench and cry and beg for mercy. Part of me wanted to be totally indignant of the charges against me and start screaming about My Rights and the injustice of being an American Citizen and having to deal with The System. Instead, I just walked forward and smiled. The judge looked at the paper from the cute guy and said “really?” She looked at the guard standing next to me with disbelief. I started to sweat. Oh my God I am going to jail…1993 caught up to me. The guard sort of smirked. The judge said “I don’t even believe what a waste of time this is” and she crumpled the paper and said ” You are free to go. Go forth and sin no more my sister and procreate as the Lord has commanded” Well, actually she just said “This is dismissed” and the guard said “you’re done you can go” And I turned around and left. With such an incredible guilt because all those other people sitting in the pews were going to hate me.

Screw you 1993!!!!!! I’m free to do what I want any old time!!!!! As long as it is within the bounds of the motor vehicle laws of the great state of New York. Justice is sweet my friends….

My New Reality

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It's not MY fault I don't have a toy....

Wake Up: 5am to Leo screaming in his crate. Fall out of bed because I am being attacked by Cecelia, who was sleeping at my feet and is cranky if she is awoken. Ever.

5:02am: Trip down the stairs, kicking in the adrenaline rush, Leo still screaming in crate. Try to organize my thoughts….do I put on my coat and boots first…do I get Leo first….where did I leave his leash….why am I always broke….what day is it….who’s life is this….LEO!

5:02 and a half am: I open Leo’s crate door and he bolts out only to run right back into me only to crash his little body into the gate only to run around the coffee table. Me? I am standing there crying.

5:03am: Still crying, I try to attach his leash.

5:15am: Success I have attached his leash. We head for the door. At this point, I have to figure out if I have my boots and coat on or if I need to put them on. If I have to put them on I cry some more because Leo is not yet allowed to roam free in the house. Especially as he has to pee and poop. I strangle myself trying to get my coat on and wipe my nose on my sleeve. I don’t care.

5:16am: Leo poops while walking in a circle. I wonder if that is some sort of instinctual thing…like standing inside of his poop circle will keep him safe from the spirits…? I wait a few more minutes to see if he will pee also, knowing darn well that he peed in his crate, under his bed. Yes, UNDER his bed.

5:17am: Back in the house, I fall over trying to get off my boots. I wouldn’t necessarily take off my boots at this point, but after cleaning up the gobs of dog poop that I unknowingly tracked through the house a few weeks back on more than one occasion, I decide to make the extra effort.

5:18am: I hook Leo’s leash to the gate, fill his bowls with food and water. Spencer is rhythmically barking and Emma is whining. I start crying again. I go get Spencer and Emma. I have to lift Spencer to his feet from his laying down position as he can no longer get up on is own. Once up, he is pretty shaky and falls often. Mostly into the dog poop outside.

5:20am: Spencer, Emma and I walk by Leo. Leo decides we are very mean and starts screaming at us for leaving him alone in the house.

5:21am – 5:32am: Spencer alternately pees, poops and falls down. Emma pees, poops while walking (good trick Emma…no way to pick that up!). I alternately cry, swear and pick Spencer up. We come in.

5:33am: Leo immediately shuts up when we walk through the door and tries to pretend he wasn’t screaming like a B movie star. Spencer heads right for Leo’s food, and falls. Damn it.

5:34am: I pick up Spencer and herd Emma into the kitchen where I feed both of them while Leo is in the other room, watching us and crying quietly so that Spencer won’t make fun of him.

5:35am: I take Leo out for his second walk. He pees a little just to make me feel better.

5:36am: I put Leo into his room, where he immediately starts screaming again because I have to go fetch Em and Spence and put them back in their room. On the way, I give Spencer his old man medications which include a thyroid, an antibiotic and benefiber…he’s fixed so he doesn’t need Viagra….Leo still screaming, somehow louder than before.

5:37am: I go back to Leo, clean up his crate, toss his bed into the other room for washing when the sun comes up, and force him to lay on the couch with me where he proceeds to try to chew the blanket, me and the couch. I get up once again and get him a toy cursing myself for not thinking ahead and making a mental note to always keep a toy of his on the couch there by avoiding the inconvenience of getting up after I had lain down. My next thought is ‘what was the thought I just had?’

6:00am: Leo snuggles down and stops wiggling and chewing and starts snoring.

6:01am: I stop crying and try to dooze off again just for 45 minutes before I have to get up to get the kids ready for school.

6:02am: Spencer decides he needs to poop and have some water. I decide he doesn’t. Ignore.

6:03am: Spencer wins (sometimes…othertimes I think I win, but then Spencer poops on the carpet and that is at least 20 minutes of cleaning…he has had a really hard time training me…I am a very slow learner)

6:04am: Leo screaming. Spencer let out. Leo screaming. Spencer comes in. Leo screaming. Spencer takes an extraordinarily long time getting a drink. Leo screaming. Spencer pauses to contemplate me and my tears, goes back to drinking.

6:15am: Spencer is back in his room. Leo is again on the couch trying to chew the blanket, me and the couch. I get up to get his toy and make a mental note to always keep one of his toys on the couch. I promptly forget my mental note.

6:30am: Leo is snoring. I am laying with him, wide awake, remembering the good old days of no pets, trying to remember all the good things about having these dogs.

6:31am: Cecelia decides she wants to come in and attaches her entire body to the window that is right near my head. Spead eagle. At the same time, Eddie starts yelling at me because I let Cece out and not him so he stands on the other side of the gate and yells until Leo wakes up and jumps down to go throw his body against the gate which makes a lovely crashing noise.

6:32am: I hate my life.

6:33am: I lay down, waiting for the alarm which will signal the start of my day, in total denial that my day started at 5am with dog poop and pee. Leo is trying to chew the furniture and I am rationalizing that with the fact that I don’t like my furniture. I do, but at 6:33am, I don’t really care.

6:45am: Alarm. Leo screaming. Kids up.

Jealous right?

They are cute when they want to be....