Tag Archives: poor

Dear Diary, Everyone is an Idiot

None of the people buried in this cemetery had Obama Care...and now...they're all dead.

None of the people buried in this cemetery had Obama Care…and now…they’re all dead.

So, Happy St. Patrick’s Day . I’m only wearing green because it looks good on me and if anyone pinched me I would drop kick them right in their hoo ha. Not in the mood. Got up, it was -3 degrees. It’s fricking MARCH!! I wish these global warming experts would step up their campaign and make it WARMER NOW. This is bullshit. I have things to do and I have been very patient with this winter crap. I’m done.

Took my 11 year old to the doctor. She has an ear infection. She hasn’t been sick (needing an antibiotic) in almost 2 years. I totally want some sort of Mom Points for that. We sat in the exam room for an hour before we were seen. An HOUR!! Luckily, she just started reading the second book in the Divergent series (against my better judgement…it was a gift from someone so, yeah). I, on the other hand, had an hour to sit there and ruminate on having to sit there while listening to her sniff snot which is the most annoying sound in the whole wide world.

Came home and called my dermatologist. They no longer take my insurance. Ok. No big deal. I guess these things are a BIG DEAL to some people? Not me…losing a Dr is so low on the scale of things I have lost it doesn’t even register. What’s the point of getting pissy? I go onto the website and find a new Dr who takes my insurance. Whoopdee Do. I call the new Dr and get the receptionist who apparently has a bug up her ass. Personally, if I worked for a doctor, I would ask the doctor to get the bug out of my ass before I had to deal with the public. But that’s just me I guess.  I asked if they accepted my insurance. She said, in a very haughty voice, she had never even heard of my insurance. Ever. I said “Wow! Really! So, are you new at this job then?” And she indignantly replied no, she was not. Ok…back to my original question, does the doctor accept my insurance? Her reply? “No. We do NOT accept that insurance. It is from The Exchange, it’s that Obama Care thing which means it is probably medicare and we don’t deal with medicare patients ever. And really, no one is ever going to make us.” Good Morning Vietnam! I said “Just for future reference ma’am, what I am paying for is not medicaid. I am sorry you have issues with being a human being and I hope you are never treated the way you treat others. Thanks for your time” and I hung up.

This is the second time I have been faced with someone who disapproves of my choices based solely on their own experiences and/or what they have been conditioned to believe. And quite frankly it makes me sick. I guess I have been very VERY fortunate in my life to love and be loved, know, work with and BE someone who is very wealthy. At the same time I have loved, been loved, worked with and BEEN someone who is exceptionally poor. I know people across the income spectrum. Money doesn’t matter to me…YOUR money. I wish I had more but whatever. YOUR income and what YOU chose to do with it is none of my beeswax. Your choice in insurance is also none of my beeswax. I do not understand people who are so incredibly ignorant. I just don’t get it. It’s perfectly fine to have an opinion and if a person were curious and asked me about my choices I would fully explain. But to treat me like I am a moron because I pay out of pocket for health insurance is about as unintelligent as it gets. Also, we could compare a doctor’s salary to mine, or to the receptionist for that matter and then talk about how the doctor went to school to be in a profession that is sworn to HELP people, not a profession that is sworn to make the doctor rich.

I moved on down the list and found a doctor who is much closer to my house and accepts my insurance and apparently accepts me as a human being in this world also. How lovely. Now to find a new lady-parts doctor.

*rant* I am really truly sick of these people who think that just because they have a freaking job that they are better than everyone else. It is such a LOW CLASS attitude to take. Seriously. How about judging people on how they treat you? How about being kind and polite to others regardless of what their w-2 says? Or better yet, how about just taking yourself out of functioning society so the rest of us don’t have to deal with your incredible stupidity. I feel sorry for people like the receptionist today. Her parents obviously did a really awful job raising her and instilling decent values. But, luckily her employer doesn’t accept my insurance so I don’t have to deal with her. *end rant*

I’m done being cranky…for the time being. I might be cranky later, I’m not sure. I haven’t decided yet.

This is the face I was making at the receptionist over the phone. Also, I was standing in a cauldron.

This is the face I was making at the receptionist over the phone. 



Compared to What?


People like to tell me I am very positive, upbeat, happy despite it all. I always think to myself “what other choice do I have?” I mean, I guess I could be a miserable, negative bitch who only sees the bad in this life. I suppose that is an option. Maybe I could whine and complain about the way life has kicked me around. But that wouldn’t change anything. That wouldn’t bring back the people I love or protect the people I love or ensure bright futures for the people I love. I choose option A, which is to take what I am given and be grateful, be happy, see the glass as half full….no matter what the glass is half full of.

My BFF called yesterday to tell me she found a letter I had written to her when she was living the single girl life in NYC and I was living the all american dream in upstate ny. I had a house, a husband, a pre-schooler and a baby. In the letter I was telling her about my life thus far. I am sure it sounded just fascinating to her at the time…..

 Back then, for fun, my husband and I would pack up the kids and go for a drive in our 1984 Volvo station wagon. Sounds all sorts of upper middle class I know, but actually, everything on it was broken. It was 1999 and that car had been to the party. Anyway, we would hop in the car and just drive. For hours and miles. Never having a destination in mind, always taking the back roads and stopping at any cool place we could find.

Once we found the most spectacular monastery and church deep in the woods and high on a hill just in time for a beautiful service in the round cathedral. Another time we “found” Pennsylvania accidentally. And yet another time we found ourselves in Albany, our state capital. Now, we were broke because we were young and house poor.So, many times we would find gas stations that served sandwiches and charge our lunch to the gas card. Beacons of common sense we were not.This particular road trip when we stopped for gas, we were dismayed to discover that the gas card was maxed out. Ut oh. We had no gas and 4 hungry humans about 2 and a half hours from home. For my next trick, ladies and gentlemen, I will now perform the Bouncing Check. Watch closely as we drive around to three, count ’em THREE different grocery stores and cash checks for the amount allowed so as to gather cash, get gas and feed the family….

I know, I amazed myself with this one because we had never formally been to Albany before and we had NO idea where the grocery stores even were!! Imagine, this was before GPS, or internet on the cell phone…we were doing this bare handed and without a net!! Impressive. Anyway, after this amazing feat of gathering money, we set out to find a public park to eat and enjoy the beautiful fall day. I was grateful at the time to have been able to find the groceries that cashed checks, I didn’t even know to be grateful for the fact that the stores wouldn’t know about my actual lack of funds till the following day. I couldn’t do that trick today because everything is processed in real-time. The pit falls of an instant society…

 We drove all over Albany looking for a place to park and eat. The longer we drove the crankier we became. After about an hour of looking, as the baby started up with her hungry scream, which always made me sweat, I said “just pull over here!!!” And we did. I unloaded the kids and the food onto the grass, not taking much notice of exactly where we were. I saw grass and a place to park and that was good enough for me! As we began to eat our late lunch and I began to nurse the baby, I finally slowed down enough to take in our surroundings.

We were having a lovely picnic lunch in the middle of a development. We were on a strip of grass in between two streets of houses. You know the kind that the developers put there simply to separate the streets. A narrow strip of grass not intended for picnicking families. I brought up this fact to my husband and we started laughing so hard we couldn’t finish our lunch. About that time,  a man came out of the house directly across from us, gave us a funny look and began to mow his lawn, which made us laugh even harder. The kids started to laugh and next thing we know, we all have to pee. Like NOW!!! There is no “hold it” when it comes to a laughing 4-year-old. There is also no tree in the strip of grass. Again, making do with what we have, I open the car door and position her so that she doesn’t pee on herself or me, laughing hysterically as I do. It doesn’t get better that this, I think to myself.

I wish I was one of the families watching this from their house. I would have died laughing. Or maybe called the police….but after our picnic and bathroom break, we piled back in the car and headed home….

I know the kids don’t remember this trip to the state capital but I will never forget it. Granted, it wasn’t your average trip, but we weren’t your average family by any stretch of the imagination. But really, in that situation, what choice did I really have but to laugh? What was I going to do? Have a panic attack? Cry? Get angry? Over what? I have faith that no matter what or where, we will be taken care of. And we are. 3 years after that, and one more baby in tow, we decided to drive to Ithaca and go hiking in November, with no coats. Common sense was still eluding me at that point. Half way into one of the most beautiful state parks in upstate NY, it began to hail and snow. I used what I had to keep us warm and we  laughed all the way back to the car at our luck and our stupidity. Maybe if we hadn’t been laughing so hard at the hail we would have realized we were lost, and avoided The Losing of the Shoe and The Pricker Bush Escapade of 2004.  

The glass maybe half full of farts but who doesn’t laugh at a fart?

Can You Imagine Being Me?


just imagine...better yet...imagine being them....

I have worked for the same small (3-7 employees) company for 15 years now. There is no health insurance offered, never has been. I have many other perks for being an employee. When I was married, and my then husband had a job with health insurance (a rare occurence) we took advantage of it. It was like being normal when we had health coverage. It was a special treat. And when we didn’t it was like being sick and poor.

Now, poor is a state of mind. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with the state of my bank account. For me being poor means being spiritually bankrupt, feeling and acting on depression, treating others without regard. I have been poor many, many times in my life. I grew up in a solidly middle class home, financially speaking. But my parents generation was raised by my grandparents generation which was the generation that lived thru the depression. So, as the trickle down effect hit me, I believed that there was never enough money to survive. This was a ridiculous idea. Both of my parents were professionals, both of my grandparents had retired from thriving companies and had the benefit of Medicare. They owned their own homes and had for their entire lives. I come from the typical American Dream (ok, stop laughing! At least on paper….)

And then there’s me. I do ok. I have three kids and I am now a single parent. I am not offered insurance thru my job. I have no way to get health insurance. I cannot afford private insurance. I have used the public health insurance option on and off during my adult life. And for those of you who haven’t, please shut the hell up. Don’t speak to me of your higher taxes…cause I will be paying them also. Don’t tell me that it’s the first sign of socialism, cause I would guess that public schools and mandated car insurance were the first signs.

Please do not assume I am some welfare mom who just doesn’t FEEL like working. I have worked and paid taxes all of my life. Consistently. I have never been unemployed. I have just never been employed by a company that offers health insurance. I own my own home, I pay my taxes which are higher than most because of the area I choose to live in. So, I contribute to this country. Why shouldn’t healthcare be my right? What makes the woman who works for a factory or the guy who is a state worker or a teacher for a school district better than me? Am I less than because I cannot afford 1257 dollars a month? It is the biggest stressor in my life.

If I don’t feel well, if I find a lump, then I get to die. Oh sure, I could go to the ER and say “I don’t feel well” or “I think I found a lump in my breast” and the ER will say “Ok, follow up with your physician” and charge me 1500.00 dollars. And when I call the Dr to say ” I don’t feel well” or ” I found a lump in my breast” they say “Who is your insurance carrier?” and when I say ” I don’t have one”  they say ” Then we can’t help you” (because most Dr’s no longer accept self pay patients at all, unless you have been a patient ongoing and even then you have to pay upfront which is always between 70 and 140 dollars PLUS any tests). How come that is ok? I am a citizen, I pay my taxes, I vote, I love my kids, I work, and I can’t afford health insurance. That makes me eligible to die?

I didn’t ask for the circumstance I am in today. I did not purposely have three kids as a single mother. I am not asking to be taken care of by the government. I am saying that me, as well as hundreds of thousands of other citizens of America, who work and vote deserve health coverage. I have never said that people who cannot have children should not have them. They should just get over it and die childless. Just because I had no problem having kids does not mean that I think others who haven’t been as fertile don’t deserve to have kids. I do not subscribe to the idea of survival of the fittest. It doesn’t work in the world of the 21st century…so think up a new argument Glenn Beck.

Let’s review: I work, always have, I am not rich or even comfortable as far as money,I do own my own home, I have always paid all of my taxes, I make my life work on the income I do have, I am a single parent, If I get sick, I have no recourse, at all and if I die, there will be three children who are orphans, I did not ask for these circumstances, and I believe healthcare is a right not a privilege. And I am grateful for all that I do have. What argument can there be against ME? Because those of you who have debated this universal health care issue are simply saying that you do not believe that I deserve to live. Because you believe it will interfere with your tax status. How about Grandma? You pay for her healthcare without issue.

I am not looking for pity or a handout. I WORK, I PAY, I ALWAYS HAVE. I AM YOU minus the health coverage. And I PAY for Grandma’s health coverage…..not MY grandma, YOUR grandma. And I am fine with that. I will gladly pay an increase in my taxes, I am more than willing to pay for an affordable healthcare plan for myself and my children. But most of all, I am ready for a change. Even if this is not the perfect solution, it is on the way to being a solution. Remember Medicare Reform? Welfare Reform? Public School Reform? We have a long history of reforming our system to make it work. So get your panties out of a wad before you get hemorrhoids and have to go to the Dr…and Thank your God that you are not me.