Tag Archives: sick

Dear Diary, Everyone is an Idiot

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None of the people buried in this cemetery had Obama Care...and now...they're all dead.

None of the people buried in this cemetery had Obama Care…and now…they’re all dead.

So, Happy St. Patrick’s Day . I’m only wearing green because it looks good on me and if anyone pinched me I would drop kick them right in their hoo ha. Not in the mood. Got up, it was -3 degrees. It’s fricking MARCH!! I wish these global warming experts would step up their campaign and make it WARMER NOW. This is bullshit. I have things to do and I have been very patient with this winter crap. I’m done.

Took my 11 year old to the doctor. She has an ear infection. She hasn’t been sick (needing an antibiotic) in almost 2 years. I totally want some sort of Mom Points for that. We sat in the exam room for an hour before we were seen. An HOUR!! Luckily, she just started reading the second book in the Divergent series (against my better judgement…it was a gift from someone so, yeah). I, on the other hand, had an hour to sit there and ruminate on having to sit there while listening to her sniff snot which is the most annoying sound in the whole wide world.

Came home and called my dermatologist. They no longer take my insurance. Ok. No big deal. I guess these things are a BIG DEAL to some people? Not me…losing a Dr is so low on the scale of things I have lost it doesn’t even register. What’s the point of getting pissy? I go onto the website and find a new Dr who takes my insurance. Whoopdee Do. I call the new Dr and get the receptionist who apparently has a bug up her ass. Personally, if I worked for a doctor, I would ask the doctor to get the bug out of my ass before I had to deal with the public. But that’s just me I guess.  I asked if they accepted my insurance. She said, in a very haughty voice, she had never even heard of my insurance. Ever. I said “Wow! Really! So, are you new at this job then?” And she indignantly replied no, she was not. Ok…back to my original question, does the doctor accept my insurance? Her reply? “No. We do NOT accept that insurance. It is from The Exchange, it’s that Obama Care thing which means it is probably medicare and we don’t deal with medicare patients ever. And really, no one is ever going to make us.” Good Morning Vietnam! I said “Just for future reference ma’am, what I am paying for is not medicaid. I am sorry you have issues with being a human being and I hope you are never treated the way you treat others. Thanks for your time” and I hung up.

This is the second time I have been faced with someone who disapproves of my choices based solely on their own experiences and/or what they have been conditioned to believe. And quite frankly it makes me sick. I guess I have been very VERY fortunate in my life to love and be loved, know, work with and BE someone who is very wealthy. At the same time I have loved, been loved, worked with and BEEN someone who is exceptionally poor. I know people across the income spectrum. Money doesn’t matter to me…YOUR money. I wish I had more but whatever. YOUR income and what YOU chose to do with it is none of my beeswax. Your choice in insurance is also none of my beeswax. I do not understand people who are so incredibly ignorant. I just don’t get it. It’s perfectly fine to have an opinion and if a person were curious and asked me about my choices I would fully explain. But to treat me like I am a moron because I pay out of pocket for health insurance is about as unintelligent as it gets. Also, we could compare a doctor’s salary to mine, or to the receptionist for that matter and then talk about how the doctor went to school to be in a profession that is sworn to HELP people, not a profession that is sworn to make the doctor rich.

I moved on down the list and found a doctor who is much closer to my house and accepts my insurance and apparently accepts me as a human being in this world also. How lovely. Now to find a new lady-parts doctor.

*rant* I am really truly sick of these people who think that just because they have a freaking job that they are better than everyone else. It is such a LOW CLASS attitude to take. Seriously. How about judging people on how they treat you? How about being kind and polite to others regardless of what their w-2 says? Or better yet, how about just taking yourself out of functioning society so the rest of us don’t have to deal with your incredible stupidity. I feel sorry for people like the receptionist today. Her parents obviously did a really awful job raising her and instilling decent values. But, luckily her employer doesn’t accept my insurance so I don’t have to deal with her. *end rant*

I’m done being cranky…for the time being. I might be cranky later, I’m not sure. I haven’t decided yet.

This is the face I was making at the receptionist over the phone. Also, I was standing in a cauldron.

This is the face I was making at the receptionist over the phone. 

 

 

Dear Diary…Day Two

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This is Eddie. He is contemplating why anyone would willing get out of bed...ever.

This is Eddie. He is contemplating why anyone would willing get out of bed…ever.

Well, look at me!!! Here it is day TWO and I am writing again! I am mildly impressed with myself. Mostly because I know me and I was really unsure that this was going to be happening!

Ok, today the kids went back to school after ALMOST two whole weeks off. Almost two whole weeks but two days short (because school is dumb). Last night the weather was getting a bit snotty. The weathermen were doing their predicting and we were sleeping with our PJs inside out, had our undies in the freezer and  we went outside, spun 3 times while singing the alphabet backwards. Ok, we didn’t do any of that. But, maybe if we had, they would have had a snow day today. They didn’t.But the school district I work in did and so did the school district where I grew up. Both of THOSE districts NEVER close. But they did today!!! Unfortunately, no one told my neighbor who works in the high school I went to as a kid and he drove himself all the way to work…on a SNOW DAY! Poor guy.

Up at the asscrack of dawn to get these kids awake and functioning. Off to school they go.

I almost died twice getting them to school. And some dink of a teenager also came close to death, although I am sure he doesn’t even know it because he had his hoodie up and just kept walking while I slid within inches of his Timberlands. Teenagers are sort of dumb. I say that because I was a teenager and I was plenty dumb. I guess I am just shocked they haven’t gotten any smarter in the years since.

Went to the bagel shop with my dog. Went in and the little old lady who is there every other day was there and said the same thing she says every time “Oh!!! Your little doggie loves you so!!!” and my standard reply “He’s a good boy”. My life, as you will soon recognise, is like Groundhogs Day. And I’m ok with that. Went to Starbucks for my iced green tea. I wish I could drink hot liquids as it was a chilly 10 degrees this morning but, I can’t. I walked in, no line, didn’t have to speak and my order was ready. Got back in the car with my dog and drove 20 mph home. The roads were nasty.

Cleaned the kid’s rooms, did the laundry, smashed my head on the cellar door so hard I saw stars…ya know, just for something fun to do.

Went to the bank. The teller was my old friend, she gave the dog a bisquet. Went to the next bank. The teller was not my old friend. Dog did not get a bisquet. He was very confused. Came home. Sat down for about a half an hour. Went to get the kids from school.

Collected the children. Went to the laundromat to dry all of the wet clothes as we do not, as of yet, have a dryer hooked up…I say “as of yet” because it makes it sound like we will have one hooked up shortly. We won’t, but it sounds like we will.

Made the kids run into the grocery as I hadn’t showered yet. I sat in the car and texted them what we needed for dinner. After about the 4th text, my 15 year old asked if we could just get McDonald’s. As tempting as that sounded I said no. I got alot of ugly stares as I was parked in the fire lane. Oh well, to bad so sad. I got here first. And I know a fireman so I am pretty sure it’s ok.

They came out. We went home.

I started dinner. My 10 year old took the dog out for a pee and switched the dishes (from the dishwasher to the cupboards, from the sink to the dishwasher) My 15 year old shoveled out the end of the driveway where the village plows had plowed us in. She did it with a smile on her face. A fifteen year old smile. Have you seen that sort of smile? It looks exactly like an adult’s I-Hate-My-Life-And-Wish-Everyone-Would-Drop-Dead smile but in a 15 year old way.

The 15 year old and I went to gather the dry laundry at the laundromat and bring it up to my room where I sorted it into our rooms and put away my 10 year old’s. I left the 15 year old’s in the basket in her room. So that she can throw it all over her floor and mix it up with some damp towels and dog hair so they all smell funny. I guess that is the new fad?

We ate dinner. Stuffed pork chops, green beans and garlic mashed potatoes. All the 10 year old ate was the green beans, all I ate was the stuffing and the 15 year old finished off the potatoes. I don’t know why I even bother.

It’s dropping to below zero tonight. The governor has declared a state of emergency or something and is shutting down all the highways as of midnight. I guess this is a bad storm. I didn’t have to go to work tonight because the weather is so bad. I love a snow day! I told the kids they will more than likely not have school tomorrow. The 10 year old did a happy dance. The 15 year old gave me her “smile”.

Nothing else planned for tonight except giving each other mani pedi’s and yelling at the dog to leave the cat alone.

I know all the words to the Humpty Dance.

The Uncle from Fresh Prince of Bel Air died.

Maybe I will see you tomorrow!!!!

The 14 year old smile(before she was 15. Now she has it mastered)...and the 10 year old's creepy smile...

The 14 year old smile(before she was 15. Now she has it mastered)…and the 10 year old’s creepy smile…

 

 

No Sleep Till Brooklyn

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me and hopeWell, I did it again. I took the kids on vacation. And actually, we did great. I suppose 7 years into single motherhood, I am starting to get the hang of it…My bff (the one I told you about in this post) and her bf went on vacation (like a real one…to a tropical place, with scuba diving and no kids and alcohol….) and offered me her place in Brooklyn for the week! Being as I am broke this is completely in my price range!!! Plus, my bff has excellent taste and lives in DUMBO which is so beautiful…the view from her roof is AMAZE. Anyway, the kids and I get 6 days and 5 nights in NYC!!!! My kids love NYC. Especially my 14 year old who is Broadway Bound. Between me and you, I think my 10 year old and myself could sit on a beach and read Harry Potter and be completely content for weeks if not months…but when I was a kid, NYC was where I wanted to be. Off we go!

Not before my 14 year old wakes up vomiting with some sort of stomach bug. Because, as you know from this post our vacations always involve puke. Oh and the place where I usually board my dog called to say they are having a bout of kennel cough. Excellent! Now I KNOW it is vacation!!! Regardless, we pack and go. I have three rolly suitcases except one doesn’t have a handle so to actually roll it, one has to stoop over in a hunchback fashion to use it. I won’t say which one of us got that job. I drove to Albany because, after much thought and worry I decided that we should take the train rather than brave the bridges into Brooklyn. Having made that decision made me feel loads better. We hopped on the train in Albany and my 14 year old was still feeling rather ill. I wouldn’t let her talk directly at me because if I got sick then the world would end. So, everytime she tried to talk to me I would make her look straight ahead and speak, which would crack me UP because to look at her it looked like she was talking out loud to herself.

We got off the train, found the subway we needed and almost passed out lugging our six heavy bags (screw you and your 50 pound a bag limit Amtrak!!!!!) up the stairs then down the stairs then up the stairs then down the stairs again (rolly bags don’t work on stairs. They just bang along and make really loud crashing sounds which makes other people jump out of the way.) We wound up in Brooklyn! And wheeled our way the 6 blocks to my bff’s apartment.walking in brooklyn Her friend who has the Gorilla Glue duct tape appeared holding 3 bottles of cold water and the keys to the 4th floor walk up! The water brought some color back into my poor, sick 14 year old’s cheeks. The looming 4 flights of stairs drained it right back out. We country folk ain’t accustomed ta all this here walkin around. It only took about a half hour to get the key to work and voila! We are IN!

I took the kids up to the roof to see the view.

Start spreadin the news.....

Start spreadin the news…..

We took a walk around DUMBO and stumbled upon a family fun night down under the Manhattan bridge. My 10 year old played in the really nice playground and got wet in the sprinkler, we got ice cream and took some great pics.

DUMBO

DUMBO

We went back to the apt, showered and passed out. We got up the next day and went to Coney Island.

Coney Island Crack.

Coney Island Crack.

I don’t think I have ever been to Coney Island and I am pretty sure once is enough for me. We went swimming, I saw a shark, a lot of broken glass and some body parts that are not legal in Upstate. The kids rode almost every ride

The little girl sitting behind my 14 year old was a little scared and was holding on to my kid for dear life!

The little girl sitting behind my 14 year old was a little scared and was holding on to my kid for dear life!

and we ate Nathan’s hot dogs because that is what you do. I was raised in Liverpool, NY so really anything that is not a Hoffman’s hot dog is just shit. Not being mean, just stating a fact. But when in Rome…

We went home and showered and passed out. The next day we went exploring Manhattan.DSCF2455 I am not a fan of Times Square. I mean, it is fun for the kids and all now that it is Disneyfied and Giuliani kicked out all the hookers, drug dealers and homeless.

Like these dudes have homes...obviously. They are wearing them...

Like these dudes have homes…obviously. They are wearing them…

But I will always have a special place in my heart for the Times Square of peep shows and street magicians and pick pockets and not looking up. Regardless, we wound up in Times Square a few times during the week. We also went to The Village and China Town and Little Italy

Where all the men are good looking, the women are strong and the children above average. And the men are good looking...did I say that already?

Where all the men are good looking, the women are strong and the children above average. And the men are good looking…did I say that already?

and the Garment District which is my FAV place. I LOVE buying clothes for 5 bucks from racks on the street.  And we did eat at Jekyll and Hyde restaurant which was a blast! It was a Tuesday evening so it was not crowded and it was dinner and a show. Perfect for kids who have been walking the island of Manhattan all day.

Getting a mind reading from Dr. Jekyll himself!!!

Getting a mind reading from Dr. Jekyll himself!!!

We went to the New York Public Library (as featured in Ghostbusters…no really, that is what the cop said when we asked him how to get there “oh you mean the one with the lions from Ghostbusters?”) because it is free and so beautiful. DSCF2291 They have free tours which I LOVED because it is all about the history. And their bathrooms are so lovely and clean!I guess I should stop here and tell you that my goals beyond making sure the kids had a good time and not catching my daughter’s stomach bug were to find free fun things to do and to find free clean bathrooms to use. Turning 40 has really narrowed my priorities. The bathroom at the Jekyll an Hyde restaurant was so INCREDIBLE. I won’t tell you the whole story but you have to walk through a fireplace

Just thru the fireplace and take a right....

Just thru the fireplace and take a right….

and then find the right book to push, in a hallway that is top to bottom books, which will open the door to the restroom.

Hope you don't have to pee real bad cause this could take a while....

Hope you don’t have to pee real bad cause this could take a while….

And the only way to tell if you are entering the men’s or the ladies is if you happen to notice a man standing at the urinal…which didn’t register with me as I had to pee…whoops! “This is a family joint lady, not Studio 54!”

We went to MoMa (Museum of Modern Art) I can’t remember exactly why we went there. But it was 25 bucks for me to get in and the kids were free. And I got to make the kids imitate the art, because life imitates art in my world.DSCF2259 DSCF2260 DSCF2274 DSCF2247 DSCF2249 DSCF2257 Most of the other museums in NY are only a suggested fee. So if you don’t have their suggested 25 dollar donation then you give what you can and go right in. Kids are generally free anyway. MoMA was ok. I don’t care about modern art really, or Led Zeppelin or gaucho pants which isn’t to say I don’t own a piece of modern art, a Zeppelin song or two and a pair of gaucho pants. I can appreciate that which does not thrill me. MoMA had a very nice bathroom, but nothing to write home about.

Wednesday evenings in the summer Central Park has free concerts at Rumsey Playfield.

Almost to Rumsey Field to see Martha Graham Dance Co!!!!!

Almost to Rumsey Field to see Martha Graham Dance Co!!!!!

Wednesday night was Martha Graham Dance Company…for FREE! Wow!! I studied up on the specs of exactly how and when to get there to get in line. And we did it! The show started at 8 and lasted until about 10. It was outside with the breeze blowing… incredible. It was so refreshing to see dancers trained in a technique performing that technique to perfection. The artistic director was there and gave a short talk before the show about the history of Graham company and Martha and the technique she created. It was really so fulfilling for me to hear and for my kids to listen to after all of the SYTYCD  and Dance Moms crap that they are exposed to which is so far from the art of dance. Ok, I won’t get into it here. Suffice it to say, it was inspiring to be surrounded by people who love dance, not that crap on tv and to see such beautiful dancing by professionals (and not a single illusion or switch leap or crotch shot in the entire performance).

Thursday we went to see Potted Potter, an Off-Broadway musical parody of the all 7 Harry Potter books.DSCF2467 It was HYSTERICAL! A must see even if you aren’t a Potter geek like we are. We had orchestra center. We picked up our tickets at TKTS booth in Brooklyn the day before for half off. So, basically we paid the nosebleed price for the best seats in the house.potted potter Although, it is a small theater and any seat would be good for the show. But audience participation is optional and sitting closer is better for that sort of thing. My 10 year old, who has read the entire series twice thru so far, was in heaven!

And last but not least, we got to see Selena Gomez in concert for FREE as part of the Good Morning America Summer Concert Series!!!!!DSCF2496 I had NO idea I like Selena Gomez as much as I do! For that experience we had to get up at 4am, get on the subway by 5am, get to Central Park before 6am and queue up. We did it, and we had GREAT standing places (there are no seats…not even for old people who have been walking around for 5 days in bad shoes and have been up since 4am. Nope. I checked.) We were directly behind the VIP section!  That was very much alot more funner than I would have imagined it was going to be. And yes, it made me that much dumber. Whatev, it was free. And I spotted Sam Champion who is my favorite.

The REAL reason I got up at 4am.

The REAL reason I got up at 4am.

We did lots of  other stuff like the Whispering Wall in Grand Central and Metropolitan Museum of Art for the Punk exhibit (which sucked ass and was so lame I gave it the finger)

Sucked.

Sucked.

We stopped for every street performer

Yup. That's just a G-string and yellow paint...

Yup. That’s just a G-string and yellow paint…

, we did eat at a few nice places

A nice Irish Pub mac and cheese...

A nice Irish Pub mac and cheese…

. We talked to some fun people on the subway and I got punched in the eye by a pigeon. No lie. Over all it was a great trip. The best free bathrooms are NYPL, ANY hotel on the Upper East Side,  and The Bottom of The Rock (Rockefeller Center). There are others but I have a NYC hangover and can’t think of them at the moment. And I didn’t throw up at all. The End.

 

I’m throwin up my baby bumble bee….

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I don't know this kid but I am certain he is the reason I have used up 3 boxes of tissue...

Why, when we get sick, do we look around for someone to blame? When we get a cold, or our kids get lice, we immediately have to point the finger at someone else for “giving” us this horrid affliction. Like that’s gonna help. Like once we find the culprit we will automatically be well. But that’s not how it works is it? Generally, we become resentful of the person we believe “gave” us the bug. And what does that do but make us sicker? And the truth is, nothing is original.

The evil- bug- passing- person got it from somewhere. They didn’t concoct a virus in their home lab than infect themselves then sneeze on us intentionally. They were “given” the nasties by someone else. Might have been the snot nosed kid who confesses to throwing up all night AFTER they licked your cheek. Might have been the snot nosed teen who wiped his nose then grabbed the door handle that you grabbed 5 minutes later. Might have been the old guy who still uses a handkerchief and then uses the grocery cart before you. Our bodies sometimes get sick. Does it really matter where the sickness comes from?

Being a part of the human race means that sometimes we will get sick. We will catch a bug or come down with an infection and it really is nobody’s fault. And sussing out the source does not a thing to make us well-er. But yet, we seem to take some pleasure in knowing where our  coughing, aching, stuffy head, runny nose, fever, puking, diarrhea came from. It must have been the kid at work, or the guy who’s cough I walked into at the zoo, or the cashier at the bagel shop. Damn it!!! If everyone would just go into quarantine every time they thought they might be coming down with something then I would stay well! Don’t they understand how important my life is and how badly I hate being sick? Being sick might be fine for other people, but I HATE it. How inconsiderate!!

We, as a race, are fascinated with our bodies and specifically how they malfunction. How many tv shows are there about our bodies and the mystery that is illness? Even books, magazines, broadway musicals, film strips, photographs and paintings capture illness is its many forms. Getting sick is a sure sign you are not an alien from outer space (not from another country…those aliens are also human and get sick just like the rest of us…good to know).

I was very sick last summer. I was in the Bronx at the start of the Swine Flu epidemic. I remember the guy who sneezed in front of me and less than a week later I was in the hospital with the worst case of pneumonia ever seen in the middle of the summer in a 36-year-old healthy woman. I’m not exaggerating when I say I almost died. If the antibiotics hadn’t kicked in, I wouldn’t be here to blog these silly, unending, really important thoughts. Don’t you feel lucky? I know I do….anyway, when I finally started transitioning back into the world after a week in the hospital (in isolation cause of the Swine Flu scare) I was catching alot of blame for being sick.

Almost everyone asked what I was going to do differently now so as not to get that sick again. As if my catching the flu and then it evolving into a double pneumonia was somehow something I did to myself. Like I was not taking care of myself. It began to piss me off! I didn’t ask to get sick. I caught a bug. It happens. What could I do differently? I guess, never leave my house, or better yet, live in a bubble like the bubble boy? But even he died eventually. So, how well did that work out? I know, I know, special circumstances….

So, I guess what my fever ridden brain is trying to express is blame has never made anyone feel better. All we can do is take sensible precautions as far as transmitting illness goes. But when someone gets sick, it isn’t necessary to place blame. No matter how much satisfaction we derive from being right. If you are a human being in this world, you will catch a bug, you will get sick and God willing you will get over it. Medicine and doctors have something to do with it also I think.

Think about the bigger picture, be grateful for what you do have, even when you are sick. It’s nobody’s fault, it’s everbody’s responsibility. And as I sit here with strep throat I will not blame anyone, except the republicans who are holding up healthcare reform which means I can’t go to the doctors. But look at me being grateful for black market antibiotcis…Just kidding…had to get that dig in!!

Ok, off to throw up and doze off to Harry Potter #3. Stay well!!

Can You Imagine Being Me?

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just imagine...better yet...imagine being them....

I have worked for the same small (3-7 employees) company for 15 years now. There is no health insurance offered, never has been. I have many other perks for being an employee. When I was married, and my then husband had a job with health insurance (a rare occurence) we took advantage of it. It was like being normal when we had health coverage. It was a special treat. And when we didn’t it was like being sick and poor.

Now, poor is a state of mind. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with the state of my bank account. For me being poor means being spiritually bankrupt, feeling and acting on depression, treating others without regard. I have been poor many, many times in my life. I grew up in a solidly middle class home, financially speaking. But my parents generation was raised by my grandparents generation which was the generation that lived thru the depression. So, as the trickle down effect hit me, I believed that there was never enough money to survive. This was a ridiculous idea. Both of my parents were professionals, both of my grandparents had retired from thriving companies and had the benefit of Medicare. They owned their own homes and had for their entire lives. I come from the typical American Dream (ok, stop laughing! At least on paper….)

And then there’s me. I do ok. I have three kids and I am now a single parent. I am not offered insurance thru my job. I have no way to get health insurance. I cannot afford private insurance. I have used the public health insurance option on and off during my adult life. And for those of you who haven’t, please shut the hell up. Don’t speak to me of your higher taxes…cause I will be paying them also. Don’t tell me that it’s the first sign of socialism, cause I would guess that public schools and mandated car insurance were the first signs.

Please do not assume I am some welfare mom who just doesn’t FEEL like working. I have worked and paid taxes all of my life. Consistently. I have never been unemployed. I have just never been employed by a company that offers health insurance. I own my own home, I pay my taxes which are higher than most because of the area I choose to live in. So, I contribute to this country. Why shouldn’t healthcare be my right? What makes the woman who works for a factory or the guy who is a state worker or a teacher for a school district better than me? Am I less than because I cannot afford 1257 dollars a month? It is the biggest stressor in my life.

If I don’t feel well, if I find a lump, then I get to die. Oh sure, I could go to the ER and say “I don’t feel well” or “I think I found a lump in my breast” and the ER will say “Ok, follow up with your physician” and charge me 1500.00 dollars. And when I call the Dr to say ” I don’t feel well” or ” I found a lump in my breast” they say “Who is your insurance carrier?” and when I say ” I don’t have one”  they say ” Then we can’t help you” (because most Dr’s no longer accept self pay patients at all, unless you have been a patient ongoing and even then you have to pay upfront which is always between 70 and 140 dollars PLUS any tests). How come that is ok? I am a citizen, I pay my taxes, I vote, I love my kids, I work, and I can’t afford health insurance. That makes me eligible to die?

I didn’t ask for the circumstance I am in today. I did not purposely have three kids as a single mother. I am not asking to be taken care of by the government. I am saying that me, as well as hundreds of thousands of other citizens of America, who work and vote deserve health coverage. I have never said that people who cannot have children should not have them. They should just get over it and die childless. Just because I had no problem having kids does not mean that I think others who haven’t been as fertile don’t deserve to have kids. I do not subscribe to the idea of survival of the fittest. It doesn’t work in the world of the 21st century…so think up a new argument Glenn Beck.

Let’s review: I work, always have, I am not rich or even comfortable as far as money,I do own my own home, I have always paid all of my taxes, I make my life work on the income I do have, I am a single parent, If I get sick, I have no recourse, at all and if I die, there will be three children who are orphans, I did not ask for these circumstances, and I believe healthcare is a right not a privilege. And I am grateful for all that I do have. What argument can there be against ME? Because those of you who have debated this universal health care issue are simply saying that you do not believe that I deserve to live. Because you believe it will interfere with your tax status. How about Grandma? You pay for her healthcare without issue.

I am not looking for pity or a handout. I WORK, I PAY, I ALWAYS HAVE. I AM YOU minus the health coverage. And I PAY for Grandma’s health coverage…..not MY grandma, YOUR grandma. And I am fine with that. I will gladly pay an increase in my taxes, I am more than willing to pay for an affordable healthcare plan for myself and my children. But most of all, I am ready for a change. Even if this is not the perfect solution, it is on the way to being a solution. Remember Medicare Reform? Welfare Reform? Public School Reform? We have a long history of reforming our system to make it work. So get your panties out of a wad before you get hemorrhoids and have to go to the Dr…and Thank your God that you are not me.

One Little Piece Of Crazy

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I have no idea how I lucked out to have three incredible kids. Especially when they are sick. Because if the curse that my mother put on me as a child had worked, I would have had kids that were exactly like me. But I don’t. And I am grateful. When I was a kid and I got sick I really believed the world was ending. And throwing up was the worst. I was pretty sure vomiting = death. No idea why I thought this, but the terror involved with puking far outweighed the actual unpleasantness of the act itself.

If I was feeling sick to my stomach (which was pretty often as a child) I would have to have everything a certain way so that I didn’t puke. Shoot, I couldn’t even say “puke” or”throw up” of”vomit” I called it getting “uppity”. Wow, what a wacko little kid I was!! And then when the time came for the actual deed to happen, I had to have a hand to hold and forget about me aiming anywhere. I tossed my cookies wherever I was because I was paralized with fear. You can imagine how nice this was for my mother to deal with.

There was the time I threw up down her back, the time I puked in my dad’s ear, and the time my drunk uncle tried to catch it with a tv tray which only made it splash. The older I got, the more prepared I became. I would have a plan at all times in all situations on what I would do and who I could grab if I had to puke. I’m not really sure what other 11 year olds were thinking about, but me, at any given moment, I could tell you exactly whose hand I would hold and what I would do if I got sick. I think this is what they call neurotic. Or maybe just annoying. If someone was throwing up near me, or on TV, or even just hearing someone puke in another room would send me into a panic for hours, sometimes even days.

I did finally get over my intense fear when I started drinking. Don’t get me wrong, before an evening of drinking commenced I would straight out ask a friend to hold my hand if I had to throw up. What a weirdo I was. When I became pregnant with my first, and the morning sickness began (which was coincidently on Mother’s Day) I was finally broken of my consuming fear of vomiting. Still didn’t like hearing others throw up, but I understood that I wasn’t going to die and I actually preferred to be alone when the feeling hit.

And then there are babies. I had three, not all at once, just in general. Spit up wasn’t an issue as I breastfed all three. They did spit up now and again but it wasn’t a big deal. And with the first two I had another adult around who took care of them if they had the stomach bug. And when my kids were sick, they were sick but not one of them ever acted like it was the end of the world. This further proved to me that I was a total freak as a child. Now my greatest fear became my kids becoming weirdo freaks like I was. I mean, it was really difficult being such a weirdo freak as a child. Always thinking about throwing up. Being consumed with vomit.

My kids really amaze me. Their little lives are definitely as screwed up as mine was, just in different ways. But somehow they do not have any of the insecurities or strange hang ups that I had. Not quite sure why except that I just refused to allow them to have those hang ups.

Case in point. Last night my almost 7-year-old woke me up by just standing in my doorway. I looked at her and asked if she was ok. She said “yes, but I just threw up.” I asked her where, all the while processing that she was not screaming or crying or in any way visibly upset. She said in her room. So, I get up and take her in the bathroom and check her out, she’s clean. Not a tear, nothing. No puke on her.I ask if she wants to brush her teeth and she does. I bring her into my bed and tell her if she feels pukey again to wake me up and we will run for the potty. She is good with that. Me at her age? I would have had a nervous break down if my mother had even mentioned to run for the potty. That would have meant that she thought there was a possibility that I would throw up again! Not my kid,she says “ok mommy” rolls over and goes to sleep.

About an hour later I feel her moving pretty quickly out of bed. I jump up with her and she actually made it to the potty and threw up while holding her own hair back. My children never cease to amaze me. I am so very proud that they do not have the vomit obsession that I had. I have no idea how it happened I am just glad it did happen. There is no way I could have dealt with mini me. Now if I catch this bug, that may be a different story….