Tag Archives: valentines day

Dear Diary, Day of LUV

Back when I was a kid we had to wear ski masks and smoke cigars...

Back when I was a kid we had to wear ski masks and smoke cigars…

It’s freakin Valentimes Day. Yea. I actually like Valentine’s Day alot. It’s a great excuse to use glitter. I was all set for a lovely VDay date while the kids were at school but then…..snow day. Normally, I LOOOOVE snow days. And this is a snow day before a week long mid winter break which is the best. Except that now I have to cancel my date because I have a house full of kids. Actually, I only have one kid at the moment because the other kid got stuck at her babysitting gig overnight as the roads were so bad. No love for me.

Except from the kid. She walked to the store to get me a bagel and tea. In a snow storm! She loves me.

Poor dog. I shoved him thru a crack in the front door so he could pee. He sunk as he was peeing and really could barely move. I was laughing so hard I almost peed. It was like quicksand. And he looked so confused. Like he lost his legs. Pooping was equally hysterical. Not sure where his poop went, he turned in circles looking for it for a good 5 minutes. Sticking his snout into the snow and snorting.  I had to drag him back in thru the crack in the door because I couldn’t fit thru the crack to pick him up. He tumbled back into the house like a puppy snowball. And all I could do was stand there and laugh. Until I saw that he had a poop ball stuck to his foot. Then I screamed and chased him around the livingroom. Which led to me cleaning up the trail of poop prints all over the carpet. It’s like it’s Valentine’s Day or something….

I was sitting here stressing about the plow guy. I didn’t contact him and we literally have at least 3 feet of snow. There is no way on God’s green earth that I am shoveling. It’s the principle of the thing really. I told the kid to go up to the snow plow guy’s house and ask and she said the driveway is plowed…Wow. I just thought about needing the plow guy and BLAM! driveway plowed!!! Nice. Now I am thinking about needing someone to hook up my dryer…I’ll let you know if that works out for me.

Now it is noon. I have been texting all morning with my bff and exchanging really bad pics of ourselves. Hers because she is working out, mine because I am not working out.

I am sure the only reason my dozen long stem red roses haven’t been delivered is because of the storm. And probably because I forgot to order them….

Munchos and Pop Tarts are the only thing in my pantry currently. I am not a college student or a pot head so that is weird.

This reindeer is flipping me off isn't he?

This reindeer is flipping me off isn’t he?


Dear Diary, Day of Dis-ease

She thought maybe this was Platform Nine and three quarters...she was wrong.

She thought maybe this was Platform Nine and three quarters…she was wrong.

I had cheese last night before I passed out. I don’t think this is a good idea. I do not recommend it. But getting home at 10:30pm and wanting to sleep, cheese seemed like a good idea. I woke up, um, not hungry. But whatever. I had to go to the bank and then the other bank and then to the Village Office to pay my taxes. I had to pay them today or I would have to pay the overdue fine. I made it to both banks and by the time I got to the Village Office I was feeling really queasy. I was still in my pj’s, the dog was in the car. I was blaming the cheese.

I went in. Paid my taxes in a total haze, walked out and threw up in the bushes. As if that isn’t bad enough, some guy in a truck was just pulling in and my dog decided that I was taking too long getting back to the car and started barking like he was going to die. I had no water so I grabbed some clean snow and shoved it in my mouth and spit it out. Momentary gratefulness that it is winter.

Had to walk by the guy getting out of his truck to get to my car. I think I mumbled something about taxes making me sick and dove into my car and yelled at the dog to quit barking.

Got home, showered. And that is when I found out that we are out of toilet paper. Also out of paper towels. But I found a box of tissues that were only half gone. It’s turning out to be a great day!

I had to get the kids from school and drop my 15 year old off to her babysitting gig. The 11 year old needed Valentine’s Cards for school tomorrow. I sent her into the drug store with my debt card and instructions to get toilet paper. And hurry. She did. We came home, I took a nap while she did homework and took the dog out for a pee. When I got up, I felt a bit better. We cracked open the Vday cards. Ofcourse she doesn’t have her class list. Ofcourse she doesn’t. She starts to sign her name to the first one and she says “Oh look it says ‘I’m glad God made us friends’ that’s weird huh mom? ” …..um…WHAT? *sigh* She accidentally bought God cards with the bible verse on the back and everything. Now, don’t get on my case. I love God, I love Valentine’s Day but I am NOT in the mood to start a riot. It’s 2014 and maybe you don’t pay attention but I do and I know that someone would make a stink. Plus, they were just plain  bad cards.  If my kid got a God  VDay card I would be a little irritated to tell you the truth.

There finds me in the basement trying to find the VDay box of left over crap. The cat poop smell is overwhelming me. I am cursing everyone I can think of. I am hating life.

I usually decorate and make valentines for everyone but this year I was just not feeling it. I finally found the damn box. Brought it up and managed to find 24 assorted cards. Barbie, Harry Potter, Rug Rats, Simpsons, Generic Princess, and Power Rangers. She put alot of thought into which kid would like which card the best. Meanwhile, I was throwing up in the kitchen sink.

She showered, ate, and went to bed. No kisses for me tonight. Praying she doesn’t catch this bug…in fact, I will send God a Valentine’s Day card so he won’t afflict my child with this ravaging illness.

Happy almost Valentine's Day.

Happy almost Valentine’s Day.


Dear Diary, Day :UGH

I think the other pic I posted explains why I am always the maid of honor, never the maid...*sigh*

I think the other pic I posted explains why I am always the maid of honor, never the maid…*sigh*

Started off with a text from somebody that I used to know. In fact, many texts…delete, delete, delete, respond. Bad idea. But I’m sort of famous for my bad ideas. It’s like my “thing”. Some people can tie cherry stems in a knot with just their tongue, some people can escape handcuffs, me? I can make bad decisions without a second thought. But, it’s all good anyway. Reminded me that this person is, simply put, a total douchebag. Moving on…

Went to the doctor for that pain in my neck (no not the above referenced douchebag). Since the pain has all but abated, we decided to not do anything right now. But the next time, whoa, the NEXT time this nerve pain flares up we are gonna kick it’s ass with drugs and tests and eventually surgery!!! Take THAT you freaking nerve pain!!!!!

While waiting in line to talk to the receptionist, I mean whisper to the receptionist because she was unsure that the doctor accepted my new- from- the- Exchange- insurance and we are supposed to whisper when we talk about the ACA and the Exchange? there was a mouth breather behind me. That’s all well and good but it’s flu season. And he was the same height as my ear. I shifted forward, he shifted forward. Hot breath on my neck, from a stranger, during flu season, NOT my idea of sexy time. I inched forward, he inched forward. I was basically pressed into the woman in front of me when the mouth breather’s wife finally said “why don’t you go sit down and I will check you in?” Thank God because the people in front of me were just about to go down like dominoes.

I left the doctor after quizzing her on nerves, muscles and vertebra. I showed her the lump in my neck that no one knows what it is…she was unimpressed. I went and picked up the kids from school and went on to work. Work went well. The younger girls are all excited because next week is mid winter break and the big girls are just all sorts of teenage fun.

Got home, got in bed, and now I have to get up to go heat up my own damn footbag.

I have a date for Valentines Day!

Along with my excellent bad decision making skills I am also very very good at forgetting things. It’s a blessing, really.

That is all sorts of preteen  hotness stuffed into a unitard...The Heat Is On...

That is all sorts of preteen hotness stuffed into a unitard…The Heat Is On…

Valentines Day and The Single Girl


Black on Vday? I'm wearing my heart pin....

I think there was a time in my life when I got excited about Valentines Day. I don’t remember when that was,which that is not to say I hate the day. I actually don’t really care. It’s nice, I like the decorations. My youngest was born 3 days before, so I think of her as my valentine. Even in the throes of my romantic entanglements as a youth, V-day never really caught me. I like it for the excuse to be crafty and use hole punches and glitter. That’s all.

The day has given me opportunity to examine the lives of my married friends and compare my life to theirs. Many times,when I dare to compare, my life comes out on the losing side. But V-day really does let the life of a single mother shine. Shine like the sparkliest glitter on the biggest heart in the dollar tree store! I do not have any expectations of anyone giving me anything. I don’t have to be angry that my special someone didn’t make me breakfast in bed, shovel the driveway or make reservations at a fancy shmancy restaurant. I do not have to open innocent boxes of cookies or slowly lift the dirty socks while trying to be sly, hoping to find the diamond earrings I circled in the Kmart advert. I do not have to be angry or disappointed in a day that sets the bar so high that even the good valentines can never live up.

But is it the valentine giver or is it the valentine receiver who makes the day a bust? I am going to go out on a limb here and say it is the receiver who either makes or breaks the holiday. Maybe the receiver only gets a cheap little card when he/she was expecting a trip to Cancun. That’s all on the receiver. The giver may be so thrilled to be giving a little card, thinking that it is the thought behind the little card that is gonna get him some tonight. Really, it is all just un-met expectations that lead to the ruination of the day. And many times, those expectations are never even communicated in the first place. The receiver just expects the giver to be a mind reader or the giver expects the receiver to be appreciative.

Then there are the couples who think just being in a couple makes us singles jealous. And they have to keep up the charade of being a happy couple especially during the holiday because they would rather be with someone than alone. I have outgrown that phase and I enjoy being single much more than I ever did being with some jerk. I am so grateful that I do not have to worry about any of this V-day stuff. There are no expectations, no crushed hopes, no dreams denied. There was just me and my kids, doing exactly as we pleased. Making sure that we all know about love, what we believe love is.

I don’t see how anyone could be opposed to valentines day. Oh I hear those curmudgeon whining that it is just a “commercial holiday” made up by a card company. Whatevah. It was made up by people, just like St. Patrick’s day, Presidents day and the 4th of July. All institutions designed by people to celebrate or commemorate events or people. What is so wrong with taking a day out to celebrate love? Sure, we celebrate it every day, we love every day. But why not take one day out of 365 to make love feel special. It’s like Mother’s day. We are mothers everyday. Do we really need a day specifically designated to praise us for being mothers? To be celebrated? Yes. We do. As do fathers and grandparents. How boring would this life be without simple celebrations. How boring would a year be without special days carved out to celebrate love, family and national pride? It is what you make it.

Today, I am grateful for the love I have received. I am grateful that I have a cupboard full of toilet paper because when I was married, we were constantly running out of toilet paper. I am so very grateful for having no expectation put on me to be/wear/do the most romantic thing. I am grateful for the love of my valentines. I am ever so grateful to be single and even more grateful that my friends are married. Not just because  they prove that the grass isn’t always greener, but because they show me that love does exist, marriages grow and change just like people. Valentines Day treated this single girl really good.

Perspective is everything. Expectations are premeditated resentments. Love today because we don’t know if tomorrow will ever get here. And I would suggest that on Valentines day, just go with the flow, love the one your with and give your married friends a big ole hug. Sometimes they need it more than you would ever believe. Love, not sex, makes the world go round. Kiss your babies, call your mother and send your boss a secret admirer valentine. If you spread the love you will receive the love. And on Feb. 15th go buy up all the half price chocolate you can find and have a feast. We deserve it.